Curious questions #5: What is a hollaback girl?

What the fuck is a hollaback girl?

Can anyone help me with this?

When my daughter was small, I loved No Doubt. She knew all the lyrics to “I’m just a girl,” only she pronounced it “gwirl.”

I also had her doing backup on “Hit the road Jack.”

The best thing about that is that she remembers.

I kind of lost track of Gwen over the years, so in my ongoing effort to dislodge myself from the 80′s, I took a look around Youtube. I had heard a few of her newer things here and there. I wanted to find the one that talked about banana’s being the shit, because I didn’t agree. Everyone knows that I like strawberries.

They are much more shit like, in my opinion.

Just as I suspected, cute little Gwen turned into a skank.

What is up with the midriff bearing? In my day, girls did not show off that much drift. I know that my daughters school doesn’t allow outfits like that, yet these little tramps are air humping, belly dancing little strumpets.

Ah ha! I love when I answer my own questions!

It doesn’t happen often.

The more of this I see, the more I can understand the pressure my daughter and her friends feel to be “skinny.” I took her clothes shopping at the thrift store, so she could get some shorts for the summer. She couldn’t find anything that fit her that she wouldn’t be made fun in by her friends. She told me she looked like a potato.

My daughter is no potato, and I told her so. I am not sure she believes me, after all I am her mom. But I tell her all the time that she is perfect the way she is. I am overjoyed that the “no ass” gene skipped her. She has a nice body, and someday I hope she can embrace it.

I think my daughter needs to start listening to Adele.

The tale of two tails

The closest Winnie the Pooh character I resemble is Eeyore.

He is just kinda there. Hanging out. Watching all the other talking animals frolic about. Oh bother and such.

Pooh has his honey. Tigger has his tail. Kanga has her Roo.

What the fuck does Eeyore have?

Bummer man.

It looks to me like he has sad eyes.

But why?

Perhaps like me he was just born this way. For some reason we are in touch with our melancholy side. Much like Eeyore, sometimes I feel like I am full of sawdust. Tigger exhausts us. We think guys like Owl are assholes.

I don’t personally think that any amount of Prozac can take away what it naturally breed into us.

We are like two pea’s in a pod, Eeyore and I.

But we fight really hard to stick around and fit in. Pooh occasionally cracks wise, and makes us laugh. We appreciate when so many people offer to help us attach our tales again. It falls off often enough, that is for sure.

I am surprised that Eeyore isn’t sporting hundreds of holes in his ass by now.

Why can’t Piglet take a sewing class?

Some quotes of Eeyore:

Picture of Disney's Eeyore

Bite me Pooh.

My mom hasn’t been feeling well lately. Her doctor wants her admitted to the hospital for some tests. I guess she has been getting dizzy, her blood pressure goes up and down, plus a racing pulse. I know she has been very tired lately, low energy. It’s the best thing for her to get checked out. Of course she doesn’t want me to tell anyone, but I can’t keep it a secret.

I am at a loss for words, I just needed to type for a few minutes.