If I may be perfectly honest for a minute, I am fucking pissed off.
Under all of the sarcasm, I am just a woman who is damned angry. This is the most prevalent emotion that I am experiencing lately. Pure like the driven snow ticked the hell off. I sometimes think that if I truly let myself let go, I could have a rage attack strong enough to move mountains.
Then I would need a 5 day nap.
It seems as though I am expected to radically accept my illness. I should just smile like a moron and find inner peace.
And sometimes I can. It doesn’t last nearly long enough.
Life. I can’t keep up with it. I can’t find the balance anymore. I can’t do what needs done. I can’t, I can’t.
No energy, no spark of fire.