No spark

If I may be perfectly honest for a minute, I am fucking pissed off.

Under all of the sarcasm, I am just a woman who is damned angry. This is the most prevalent emotion that I am experiencing lately. Pure like the driven snow ticked the hell off. I sometimes think that if I truly let myself let go, I could have a rage attack strong enough to move mountains.

Then I would need a 5 day nap.

It seems as though I am expected to radically accept my illness. I should just smile like a moron and find inner peace.

And sometimes I can. It doesn’t last nearly long enough.

Life. I can’t keep up with it. I can’t find the balance anymore. I can’t do what needs done. I can’t, I can’t.

No energy, no spark of fire.

Reverberation

A persistent low hum

Of electrical force

Zapping my body useless

Senses unpleasantly heightened

Echoing through muddled thoughts

Reverberation

Over and over again

No end for the madness

No salvation for the soul

Nightmare plagued rest

Endless anxiety

That stretches for miles

Reverberation

Over and over again

Chaotic voices on repeat

Fighting to be released

Struggling to pull free

From their strangled confines

Escaping like frightened whispers

Reverberation

Over and over again