Perpetual Perky People

Perpetual Perky People, or PPP’s, can sugarcoat the biggest turds, until they taste like fucking ambrosia.

You could be struck deaf and mute, and a PPP will gladly point out that you still have sight. Lost your leg to the gout? You still have the other one, so cheer up. Nothing gets them down.

They are the ones who run the drive thru  in the mornings.

You look just like Jessica Simpson

PPP’s do not have a firm grip on reality. They never complain, bitch, or swear. They hold in their frowns like gas after a meal at a Mexican Taqueria.

PPP’s will generally compliment you, even if you look like you’ve just rolled out of bed. You could go bald, and she would be the first to take you wig shopping.

Everything is sunshine and moonbeams, sprinkled with fairy dust for good measure.

They have no concept of how it feels to be depressed. Turn that frown upside down! A nice cup of herbal tea will fix you right up! Maybe even a little honey if your feeling froggy.

Bite me.

To be perky occasionally is fine. Even I find myself feeling perk-some now and again. But please, for the love of all that is shitty, stop trying to blow rainbows up my ass.

25 thoughts on “Perpetual Perky People

  1. Hahah- I’m sorry, that was really funny. I remember I actually got mad at one of my girlfriends in high school. I told her she was too freaking happy all the time and it pissed me off. LOL. Seriously sometimes I wanna punch a perky person in the throat.

    On another note, when I lived in Chicago, my girlfriends and I had another meaning for PPP. Po Po Patrol. Whoever was in the front seat of the car was on PPP duty :)

  2. Not something I can be accused of!!
    My wife described it recently – that ppp’s make you feel obliged to be happy and suffocate you with ‘joy’ – their ‘pat perky answers’ slip off your needs without providing the least comfort.
    I think a good punch in the throat sounds like a fine idea!

  3. It’s a bit sad actually. Triple P’s have never had to reach down and plumb the depths of their own strength and determination. I wonder how they actually deal with the many UN-happy things in their lives. Are they unaware? Afraid to show how they really feel? Would they even be THERE if needed?

  4. Wow, so much hostility. Can’t we all just get along? It so beautiful outside, let’s be beautiful insi…Oww. What the? Stop that. Please. Owww. Get off me you f#*kin panda. Oww. That’s it. I’m going postal.

Be nice..

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