What are you doing down there?
When I think of God, this is the image that pops into my head. I have pictured Him like this since I was a kid. An old man with a beard and a white robe. Sitting on a cloud, watching me. Picturing Him like this might seem childish, but at least I am picturing Him. So don’t judge me monkey.
We all have our own way of looking at things, especially if its a hard concept to wrap our itty bitty minds around. When I attended parochial school back in the day,the bible stories were so far fetched, I had a difficult time believing. But I accepted what I was taught, and tried to be a good little Catholic girl. I went to mass, said my prayers, made my first Communion, and joined the rosary club. But was I just going through the motions? A part of me was. The other part was trying to find my God. That part of me is still searching.
I started to question His very existence after my father died. I was an angry, pissed off kid. How could the good, loving God that I had learned about my entire life be so cruel, taking away the human being I loved the most in this world? What did I do to deserve such pain? It didn’t seem fair. I turned my back on the whole thing, although I never fully denounced God himself. I had my vision of Him, the old man with the robe.
I had a friend at my old job, the sweetest women. We had some deep conversations about almost every topic you could think of. She was a devout Christian. She even gave me some pamphlets. I read them. I researched. I did some deep thinking. Yet I still have not found what I have been looking for all these years. For some reason it eludes me. That “ah ha!” moment.
I still pray. I believe there is a God, a higher power. He doesn’t rule over my thoughts, though. I try to be a decent human being. I believe in love, peace, general good will. I believe there must be a heaven. I believe in angels.
No matter how I picture God, I do. That has to count for something.
I clasp my hands and pray at times – but to whom I do not really know – yes I say God in my prayer – but at my age I still don’t know what to believe. When there is famine or injustice or cruelty in the world I am buggered if I am going to believe “It’s God’s work – he has a greater cause”. Sorry for those believers but thats..well…just… I won’t say what it is for I do not wish to offend anyone. Everyone to their own beliefs I say..no matter whom you may think is looking down upon you. For me, I went to Sunday School raised a Methodist and that was that, it went no further. I have no desire to reach out for someone/something that I do not truly believe in, and at my age I think I don’t want to start. Cute photo Merby and if I did believe that is how I would picture him also
I hope not to offend anyone with this post. I actually envied some of my schoolmates that had hands clasped, eyes closed. Feeling it. I have never been able to do that. That photo is from The Family Guy, a TV show here in the states.
Oh, I can relate to this post, and I’m sure so many others will as well. Like you, I couldn’t help question God after a tragic event in my life. The book, “Why Bad Things Happen To Good People,” helped somewhat, but I still don’t have a good handle on what I really believe. I do believe in a higher power, and your old man with a beard is cute, but……..who knows?
Exactly. I have no idea either. Maybe someday we will figure it all out, and have that moment of clarity. Until them, bearded old man it is.
I so wanted to believe the way I saw others believing (if that’s something you CAN see). But I was not going to fake it. I do not like organized religion. I do not believe one particular faith is the only correct one. When I knew in my heart that was ok – I didn’t have to try so hard. For me, one day, I heard the words “You’ve just got to have faith” come out of my mouth. And I meant it. In my opinion, that feeling you get, when you goosebump over a high note being hit so perfectly, or the choked up feeling you get looking at your child? That’s the soul. And every plant, bird, jelly fish, breath – is my God. A higher power. A power greater than me created those things. <3
Yes, I am not a fan of organized religion either. I love how you put that… “when you goosebump over a high note being hit so perfectly, or the choked up feeling you get looking at your child?” Those are “ah ha” moments.
Yep. That we’re capable of such depth and feeling – that’s more than blood pumping and cells no?
We’re just flesh and blood, but the soul is perfect.
My problem with organized religion is the force to believe what they say I am supposed to believe. That doesn’t work for me. I believe God is as unique as each of us and as long as I stick with my beliefs and not waiver to the pressures to believe what someone else tells me to believe when it’s not what’s in my heart, then I am doing what is right.
Yep. I follow my heart as well. Maybe I need to stop searching so hard and just accept bearded God on the cloud. I have never been much for following rules, and that’s really what organized religion is.
It’s important we accept our own faith, or it’s not faith at all.
Very true. I will never be a holy roller, though.
Me neither.
How about speaking in tongues?
I think there’s an app for that.
Somehow I am not surprised.
In all seriousness though, I’ve never understood it. But, then, I’ve never tried either.
Well you never know unless you try. Is there really an App?
No. I was being rude.
Thank Goodness you told me, I was almost ready to start looking for it!! Always wanted to learn a second language!
You’re learning to speak teenager; that’s a second, third and fourth language.
By the time I have it down pat, she will be an adult.
Maybe you can make a guide for those of us not there yet.
Future post? I think I can do that.
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I’ve had Jesus as a guest blogger, and I still don’t believe in God!
On the other hand, I believe we all have a higher power, a greater capacity, that the ‘miracle’ lies within, and in our power to tap our own resources and do incredible things.
That’s right..you did.
Yes, we all have our higher power, however we perceive it to be. Maybe send Jesus my way, He can guest blog over here..I have some questions for Him!.
Email them to me and I’ll get him to answer (really, do it, it’ll be fun
)
I will!!!
Panda, I cannot for the life of me find your email.
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