Noassittal Syndrome, also known as NOASSS, affects millions of people daily.
NOASSS is usually genetic, and there is no known cure. Common symptoms include:
Having people refer to you as “Pancake” ass.
Needing to bring a cushion to sit on.
Literally being able to fall and break your ass.
An extreme dislike for the song, “Baby got back.”
Reluctant to tell people to kiss your ass, because your afraid they won’t be able to find it.
Spending money you don’t have on ass pads.
You never flush the toilet while still sitting, for fear you will get sucked in.
No matter what you do, your pants always look like you have a load in them.
Fat Albert was kind enough to accept my offer of being the national spokesperson for NOASSS.
Um, thank you Al. Very inspiring indeed.
I shall never fill out a pair of jeans. No man will ever get caught staring at my derriere. My husband will always call me ” low rider.” Over the years, I have come to accept the fact that if it wasn’t for my stomach, people wouldn’t be able to tell whether I was coming or going.
At least I have a nice rack.