Noassittal Syndrome, also known as NOASSS, affects millions of people daily.
NOASSS is usually genetic, and there is no known cure. Common symptoms include:
Having people refer to you as “Pancake” ass.
Needing to bring a cushion to sit on.
Literally being able to fall and break your ass.
An extreme dislike for the song, “Baby got back.”
Reluctant to tell people to kiss your ass, because your afraid they won’t be able to find it.
Spending money you don’t have on ass pads.
Eat your heart out J Lo!
You never flush the toilet while still sitting, for fear you will get sucked in.
No matter what you do, your pants always look like you have a load in them.
Hey Hey Hey..I have no ass!
Fat Albert was kind enough to accept my offer of being the national spokesperson for NOASSS.
Um, thank you Al. Very inspiring indeed.
I shall never fill out a pair of jeans. No man will ever get caught staring at my derriere. My husband will always call me ” low rider.” Over the years, I have come to accept the fact that if it wasn’t for my stomach, people wouldn’t be able to tell whether I was coming or going.
At least I have a nice rack.
HAHA – never had this problem, but I feel your pain.
Thank you for your empathy.
Normally I like to leave comments…just a few words to say I read this and enjoyed it. This time…
:>)
That was awesome!
Thank you for the laugh!
Your welcome!
I suffer from this afflication as well. I’m glad that we are finally getting some public awareness. Do you know if there is a support group or anything like that?
I am thinking about starting a group, actually. Everyone who joins gets a free pair of Booty Bump ass pads.
Sweet! Count me in.
I was laughing until the last line…and then I fell out of my chair laughing.
Really? Did you break anything when you landed?
I keep pillows on the floor just for reading your posts. That was I’m safe…I really should add some plastic for the milk that comes out of my nose with it.
Yes, they make bibs for that, I think.
Ha! In my experience, a nice rack will compensate for any other physical shortcoming. I got a really bad haircut one time, and had to go to a party that night. I just wore a low cut shirt.
Who needs hair and an ass when you have nice boobs?
Amen, sistah.
i got a flat ass and a flat chest, Merbear. You better translate this post in Japanese because the whole country has this syndrome, me included.
Too funny, Kozo. I will get to work on that, and let you know.
I’m the same as Kozo! lol and the same thing applies about people not knowing if I walk towards or away from them.
Us assless people must stick together. Your ass pads are in the mail.