I pledge my commitment to the Blog For Mental Health 2013 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.
I was laying in bed last night, and the thought occurred to me that life was precious. I was taken aback by this simple notion, because just a short time ago I was constantly contemplating my demise. The thought of suicide was on my mind, 24/7.
It’s an awful way to live a life. I am thankful that I am not in this frame of mind at the moment. But I am always fearful that the drugs will stop working, and I will start to fall into the well of dark despair again. I fight on a daily basis. I struggle. But I don’t want to die. Not today. This realization brought tears of joy to my eyes.
Depression is real, and evil. It warps all that is beautiful. It will always be my enemy. I will fight it til the end, and I will blog about it when I feel the need.
http://fairytaleepidemic.wordpress.com/2013/01/29/337-very-inspiring-blogger-award/
That’s awesome and I very authentic way to show your generosity. | http://indispensablemarketing.wordpress.com/2012/11/25/the-new-culture-of-generosity/
Glad to have found your blog.
Thank you!
Please keep fighting. Depression is evil, so don’t let the bastard win! Sometimes you just get so tired though. I totally understand. You know, oddly, I was thinking about my own depression’s onset. Being 12 and suddenly realizing what was wrong. And I worry about my son and watch him carefully and pray he didn’t get the evil, messed-up depression gene that runs in my family. But anyway… you are a talented writer and have a wicked funny streak of dark humor … I will be here whenever you need to get it all out. [Hug]
I hope your son didn’t end up with the depression gene. But it’s good your keeping an eye on him. Thank you for the compliment. You have no idea how much it means..{Hugs}
You are quite welcome.
We’re all in this together!
I hate depression. And, is it just me, but do you want to throw stuff at the TV when you see that “depression hurts” commercial for Cymbalta? Yeesh. As they say in my neck of the woods, “someone needs smacked ‘upside the head.’”
Those commercials piss me off. lol
They certainly don’t help us … the ad exec obviously didn’t have someone close to them who had depression. I don’t mind the umbrella commercials though. Different drug. Can’t remember which one. Of course, with taking Lexapro, Wellbutrin AND Lyrica (for phantom pains) it’s a wonder I can remember anything. Or even think. Hence the blog name … “Blog it or Lose it”! Oh well. Keep your chin up, okay? [great big hug]
You too..Jen, right? My real name is Merry btw..and with all the drugs I am on, its a wonder I can remember that! {hugs}
Yep, Jen. Thankfully “Jennifer” is one of the most common names in Pennsylvania (“Peeay”) right now so it’s easy to remember, LOL. There are four people in my small county with my name … and dozens across the nation. My OB/GYN has one close to my age who had a child within months of my delivering my own son … which caused a LOT of problems. Thankfully I can remember my birthday otherwise there’d be a lot more problems! I’m sort of the “Susan Smith” of Peeay. Mom almost called me Sarah and I’m named after her aunt Genevieve. Genevieve (“Aunt Jenny”) would have been a much better name. Merry is a cool name though … but I bet you get a lot of spelling problems with other people.
I think I am the only Merry in the state of Ohio.
Yeah, I do get annoyed sometimes when people misspell or pronounce it wrong, but it is kind of neat to see my name everywhere at Xmas. We are right next to each other! Been to (Peeay) many times.
That IS kind of funny!
Ohio, huh? Bet you were GLAD when the election was over, haha!
You are so fortunate to have a different name …. when I was younger I swore my kid would NOT have a common name … never grew up with anyone with this particular name so I chose “Jared” for him. Turns out, I picked the boys’ equivalent of “Jennifer”. [sigh.]
I promised myself that my kid would have one of the most normal names..Brooke.
The weather here today is so nice, then tomorrow more winter…We have a saying in Ohio, “If you don’t like the weather, wait an hour” lol
Not us …. this gloominess seems to have settled in for good. It is so friggin’ dreary!
Well, off to play Minecraft (!) with my kiddo … enjoying these moments because they won’t last forever.
So true…
I know how it feels to feel so desperate that suicide is imaginable. I felt it the day I handed my innocent children to a corrupt monster. I wanted to die. I wished he had killed me when he had the chance, I wished I owned a gun. My mom talked me off my ledge and I hated her for it. But now I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of someone else’s decision to carry it out. Holy fuck. There is no pain like it. Oh. My. God. It. Hurts.
I can only imagine, and I am so sorry you have to feel so much hurt and pain. I could say time heals all wounds, but we both know that’s bullshit.
Time is the ultimate 4-letter word.
Right below fuck, I would say.
I agree.
You’re quite an inspiration.. I am really glad I found you on wordpress.
And I am really happy to see that you are committing to such a wonderful project..
Take care always!
-HA
You know, I always smile when I see a new post from you. I am glad I found you as well. Your an inspiration to me.
-Merbear
http://knockedoverbyafeather.wordpress.com/2013/01/30/for-ha/
<3 You make me happy
You make me happy too!
Yeah! I’m now smiling.
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I just took the pledge myself and I’m now visiting my comrades blogging for mental health.
I look forward to reading more of your posts. Perhaps we can encourage each other.
I hope so.