” Your call is important to us. Please wait for the next available representative. While you are waiting, enjoy this shitty music and try not to fall asleep. Thank you.”
Instrumental version of “My heart will go on.”
Maybe it’s because I have so many things in my life pending, but I have noticed that we humans spend an extraordinarily huge amount of time waiting. I am waiting for my lawyer to call at 9am. (It’s 9:10) Waiting for my hip to stop hurting so I can get some housework done. Waiting for it to stop raining so my dog will go outside and do her business. It amazes me that she can hold it for so long. I would have piddled on the floor by now. Bladder of steel, I’m telling you.
My doctor appointment with the Ortho was rescheduled because he had surgery. Which I can understand. But now I have to wait. Until February 20th. It’s funny, you get yourself psyched up for something, only to be told you have to..wait for it…wait.
How many times can I use that word today?
I have a low patience threshold. I am all about instant gratification.
I am Veruca Salt.
According to a study done by me, we spend 65% of our day waiting for something. That’s a long fucking time. Think about it. How long does it take for your toast to pop up? For your coffee to kick in? For your bowels to start moving downward?
I suppose that’s why they invented heavy sighs.