My Independence Day

February 18, 2002, I left an abusive relationship, with my 5-year-old in tow.

I learned that people are generous. People came out of the woodwork to give me what they could to help. Couches, table, microwaves. One person even let us raid her garage full of yard sale items. Nothing in my one bedroom apartment matched. But it was my crap. Mine.

He wasn’t there.

I learned that people are kind. Like the landlord who let me move into that shit hole without a job or decent credit. Even though he turned on me when I left 2 years later to better quarters.

I listened to Good bye Earl by the Dixie Chicks every chance I got, only I would substitute the name Earl with his. My friend and I would sing it together, giggling at the idea of it. I admit, I was a bit of a man hater for a while.

I pumped my fists to the song  Independence day by Martina McBride.

Let freedom ring, let the white dove sing
Let the whole world know that today is a day of reckoning
Let the weak be strong, let the right be wrong
Roll the stone away, let the guilty pay its Independence Day

February 18, 2013. It’s been 11 years. Longer than the relationship lasted, which was only 6 years. It seemed like an eternity at the time. I still go back in my dreams, make a visit. I am so gloriously happy when I wake up, and the knowledge slowly makes its way to reality.

He is not there.

30 thoughts on “My Independence Day

  1. Great post. I had a similar experience of leaving an abusive relationship in ’07. Difference being that I had no kids and I’m a man, but the feelings of loss are similar. The day I left was the day my writing died. Grabbed all I could to get out and forgot one drawer. The one with all my poetry and pictures from growing up.
    Now 2013, I swore I would never remarry but as I post this I am looking at my beautiful wife since 11/11/11 and feeling more love and support then I did in the 5 years I was with the ex. Also, I have put away the anger of leaving that drawer, which was held over my head for some time, and have chosen to resurrect my writing.
    Come to find out, the writing was dead after all. It went into protection, hibernation mode for all of these years.

    • I admire your courageousness in leaving an abusive situation. My ex threw away a lot of my personal belongings just to be spiteful. We can learn how to forgive but never forget. Congrats on finding love.
      Merbear xx

  2. I look around my house now and I see the microwave that one of the shelter workers gave me, the couch a friend of my cousin gave me, the work clothes a thrift-store owner let me have for free, the bedroom set my aunt helped me buy on a 70% off sale and with her employee discount, the mattress that a friend of mine’s grandma gave me, the end tables that another friend gave me, the dishes and utensils that a shelter volunteer gave me, the area rug my aunt gave me, and I know the generosity of the world. Their kindness stomped his evil.

Be nice..

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