If your baby has gone from crayons to perfume before your every eyes, chances are you have priced chastity belts on Amazon.
She might start to show off more of her body on a weekly basis, causing the pulse in your temple to throb. You will have to share feminine hygiene products with her, and explain how to use a tampon, while she squirms silently. Your clothes become frumpy to them, and they have no objection in telling you so. Flannel is so not sexy.
She will argue that all her friends are wearing skinny jeans, so why can’t she?
She will spend her own money on underwear that say “juicy” on them. The ones where their ass cheeks hang out.
Tips on how to cope effectively
- Have plenty of excuses on hand.
Example: ” Just because your friends dress like strippers, doesn’t mean you do.”
- Breathe slowly, count to 11. Remind yourself that you raised her to be a lady.
- Buy shawls, and leave them by the front door in case of emergency.
- Offer advice on proper communication protocol.
Example: No matter what you are doing, stop and text your mother back.
Mom: Hi..whats up?
Ten minutes later….
Mom: Um..hello? Where are you??
Five minutes later..
Mom: Answer me or you are grounded!!!
Twenty seconds later…
Daughter: Oh, sorry. Nothin.
- Remind yourself of all the times you got to dress her in cute little Disney dresses. This is pay backs.
And it’s a bitch.