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Knocked Over By A Feather

IT WAS A BIG FUCKING FEATHER…

Not To Be Confused with Sonny Bono

“I’ve never really cared for U2, I don’t like Bono’s voice,” my friend Cheryl said in her car after we had dined at our regular Wednesday lunch spot. We were on our way across the street to the Great Clips so that I could finally get a hair cut.

“Boner?” I said, because I’m me.

“No, Bono,” she replied, playing along with me because she’s her.

“Oh, yeah. Not to be confused with Sonny Bono. I always liked their one song, though. With or Without You, I think it is.”

“That one is okay, I guess.”


 

I’m sitting in the chair, the plastic cape over me, with my eyes closed while the young hairdresser starts cutting the 3 inches of old color from my hair. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I can’t really see much anyway, since without my glasses the world around me is one giant blur.

The radio is on.

Cheryl is sitting in the waiting area, her eyes glued to Twitter on her smart phone.

(I assume that it was Twitter, as she really loves it.)

“See the stone set in your eyes…..”

“Cheryl?” I call out loudly. No answer.

“I don’t think she heard me,” I say to the hairdresser.

“No, I don’t think she did,” she replies.

“Cheryl? Do you hear what’s on the radio?” I call out again, louder.

“What? Oh yeah.”

“We were just talking about this song in the car,” I explain to the hairdresser.

“Oh, I see.”

I think that it’s groovier than they do. I always get a kick out of it, and I most likely always will.

But I wonder why this weird shit keeps happening to me, especially lately.


 

With or Without You By U2   1987

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait, without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she’s got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you
Oh

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you

With or without you

An Unspoken Promise

One of my first blog friends (unfortunately he quit blogging a long time ago) that also has fibromyalgia shared this meme on Facebook yesterday. I snagged it.

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Yep, all fucking true.

We always like each others fibro memes, it’s kind of like an unspoken promise. Even if nobody else gives a shit, at least we can count on each other to show some much-needed empathy.

Did you notice that I said he?

Although fibromyalgia is more commonly found in women, there are also men who have it. I don’t know the exact percentage, but it doesn’t really matter. Fibromyalgia struck a previously strong, ambitious, physically active man in his prime. It took poor Dave down as easily as a lion takes down a gazelle.

This disease does not discriminate. I’ve even heard of children being diagnosed with fibromyalgia. My symptoms didn’t come to the surface until after I gave birth to my daughter under extremely traumatic circumstances. It took about 15 years to become severe enough for me to have to quit working.

I made it chase me for as long as I could, because fuck you kindly fibro. (Plus, I’m stubborn.)

I’m not sure how it happened to my friend, because I honestly don’t remember his story anymore. I barely remember my birth month when the pharmacy asks, so not being able to recall Dave’s old posts from 4 years ago comes as no surprise.

Perhaps he just woke up one day, and noticed that he felt like a freshly hacked up hairball. Was it a slow onset like me, or did it whack him upside the head like a baseball bat?

shutterstock_150208916-800x430
Dude….start running NOW.

Dave and I, we both look so normal. You can’t tell that we’re sick by looking at our photos on Facebook. I see him now and then, when he posts a picture of himself. He’s usually smiling. He’ll occasionally make a funny quip that makes me giggle.

Like me, I think that he’s finally gotten to the point where he has accepted his fate.

They taught me at the kooky house when I was in the outpatient program way back in 2011, Radical Acceptance doesn’t mean that you like a situation, it only means that you admit its presence to yourself.

And the fact that it isn’t going to go away.

Now we’re both trying our best to make our lives worth living despite being invisibly ill with this mysterious, wretched disease that continues to baffle the medical community.

If you have someone in your life who has fibro or any kind of chronic illness, make sure to tell them that you care.

And for fuck’s sake, like their memes on Facebook.

Remember Me

rm-logo

Remember me, when you need a smile

When life isn’t feeling quite worthwhile

And if you’re lonely, just picture me

Floating past you on a caramel sea


 

Remember me, with a hug for you

And know that what I’ve said is true

That I’ll always care, I cross my heart

Nothing can steal, or tear that apart


 

Remember me, when the nights seem endless

When you’re feeling low, and your soul feels restless 

Just close your eyes, and I’ll be there

Wherever life takes you, no matter where


 

This is for a friend of mine that is far from me, almost literally a world away.  

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