Search

Knocked Over By A Feather

IT WAS A BIG FEATHER…

Fuck It Friday: Ghosting

I had to do something this morning that I didn’t really want to have to do. It didn’t bring me any joy, but I had no choice, for the sake of my own mental health.

fuckit

 

I had to ghost someone.

Ghosting: The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone.

I know, mature.

im-so-mature_o_779276
That’s being generous. 

Long story short, the person I ghosted was a major drain on my energy. I don’t tolerate extreme negativity, lack of a sense of humor and overt neediness well. (Continuous texting from mid-morning until night drives me bonker-nuts.)

Explaining this to her didn’t seem to help the situation at all. It was a toxic relationship from the start and the funny thing is, I intuitively knew this fact. There was really no connection at all.

But I went ahead with the “friendship” because I wanted to be helpful and kind to someone who seemed to need it.

After talking about it with my husband last night over dinner at our favorite restaurant and following a paranoid text attack from the subject of this post, I woke up today with my decision made.

My closest friends know that I don’t need interaction 24/7. I need my solitude.

And sometimes, you eventually run out of jack shit to say.

I feel lighter, yet also like an asshole. But I keep telling myself that explaining my feelings to this person did no good. There was no way to fix the problem.

So tell me, have you ever had to “ghost” someone before?

In Living Color

in_living_color_2012_logo
Not the show, although it was a great show.

If you met me in person, in living color, would you like me?

Only one blog friend has heard my voice many times over the phone, recalls the way that I snort a little when I laugh, knows how I change my voice for comedic reasons and matches my penchant for swearing.

We know each other so well that it is sometimes freaky how well we know each other.

The lost art of phone conversation is now the norm due to the internet and the invention of texting. But because Alice and I talk on the horn rather often, we know that we like each other. Chances are excellent that we would also like each other if we were ever able to meet. (Ohio and Texas is a world away for us poor folk.)

I am always honest here on my blog, but there are parts of me that you would probably not like all that much.

No, really. I mean it.

For example, I throw shade at people that I don’t like. (Trump, pretentious people, most of my neighbors, idiots on social media.)

idiots
They get really stale.

 

I can be extremely mean spirited. I am not full of love for everybody in this world. I loathe superficiality and instantly dislike anyone who shows that trait.

I have done some really nasty things in my life. I have betrayed, lied to and manipulated people. I am no saint. I am basically a nice person, but deep inside of me there is a mean streak. A jealous streak, a cold-hearted streak and a judgmental streak.

Not to mention that I have streaks on my windows.

I wanted to do bad things to my ex. Some may say that he deserved it, but the cruel thoughts that I had were enough to make me realize what I was capable of under extreme duress.

I envy those that have money, good health, great looks and no body fat.

cute-memes-good-kind-of-fat-300x291

I have broken at least 5 of the 10 commandments.

I have a fear that if I walked into a Catholic church, I would burst into flames.

I am easily hurt by others, which is why I try not to attach myself to people. But sadly, I let my guard down sometimes. I get angry at them. Then I will boycott them from my life without another thought because I want them to feel how I feel.

If you met me in real life, would you like me?

Would I like you?

We Didn’t Start The Fire

This song seems apropos for these times, wouldn’t you say?

“We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel  1989 

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn MonroeRosenbergs, H-Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, The King And I, and The Catcher In The Rye
Eisenhower, Vaccine, England’s got a new queen
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbyeWe didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc
Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dacron
Dien Bien Phu Falls, Rock Around the Clock
Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn’s got a winning team
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland
Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev
Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac
Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, Bridge On The River Kwai
Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball
Starkweather, Homicide, Children of Thalidomide…

Buddy Holly, Ben-Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia
Hula Hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go
U-2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy
Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

Hemingway, Eichmann, Stranger in a Strange Land
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion
Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatlemania
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician Sex
J.F.K. blown away, what else do I have to say

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, Terror on the airline
Ayatollah’s in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan
Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless Vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz
Hypodermics on the shores, China’s under martial law
Rock and Roller Cola wars, I can’t take it anymore

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
But when we are gone
It will still burn on and on and on and on
And on and on and on and on…

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it

Blog at WordPress.com. | The Baskerville Theme.

Up ↑