As of 6pm last evening, I am now officially single.
My fucking bastard of a husband got caught “swiping” on an app called Tinder. After 10 minutes of trying to lie to me that he was only texting a buddy of his (and after telling me to fuck off, which he’s done before when his back is up against a wall) he finally told me the truth.
But, you know, it’s not a big deal, because he deleted the app.
No. Too fucking late.
Shit, maybe I should join Tinder. Lord knows that I haven’t had sex in an extremely long time, perhaps I’d have some luck!!
It’s like my heart is a Capri Sun juice box and he stabbed one of those flimsy straws into it, then sucked out any love juice that was left. I feel nothing but numb and cold towards him now. I haven’t even cried yet, which I am sure that I will end up doing eventually.
I tried. I really tried, you guys. I at least have that to console myself with. I gave it my best shot to forgive him after finding out about his sex ad and try to fix this. But obviously there is no fixing this marriage.
I need to get my own car as quickly as possible. I just sent my brother a message asking if he’ll keep an eye out for something around $1,500.00 which is all that I have right now.
After 15 years, I’m just done. I can’t let the mother fucker keep hurting me, I just can’t. If I allow it to continue, there’ll be nothing left of me.
On October 1st, 2015, fibromyalgia finally was entered into the ICD-10-CM which is the International Classification of Diseases Classification Manual. The ICD-10-CM used by physicians around the world. Fibromyalgia was given its own diagnostic code; M79.9. So in actuality, fibromyalgia became a legitimately recognized disease in October of 2015. Fibromyalgia is only 2 years old. Yet fibromyalgia Awareness has national awareness day, May 12 and a colored ribbon, purple that it shares with other chronic conditions like;
ADD, ADHD, Alzheimer’s Disease, Crohn’s, Cystic Fibrosis, Domestic Violence Awareness, Elder Abuse Awareness, Lupus, Pancreatic Cancer, Epilepsy, Chronic and Acute Pain, Rett Syndrome, Sjogren’s Syndrome, Thyroid Cancer, and more.
Fibromyalgia seems to be … trending … as of late. It seems someone knows someone who knows someone who has it. There are T.V. commercials for fibromyalgia pain medications. There are advertisements for supplements and essential oils promising to reduce symptoms. Many new therapy programs are forming and claim to not only treat fibromyalgia but cure it. People are beginning to come forward stating they have fibromyalgia. What are the pros and cons of this? The pros being awareness and the cons being incorrect information.
Fibromyalgia is real and has been around for many years. It is believed that Florence Nightingale herself had fibromyalgia! Although controversial at first, she was bedridden with fibromyalgia in 1986. The catalyst was said to be an infection she had years earlier. Morgan Freeman has admitted publicly to having fibromyalgia as has Sinead O’Connor. The point is that even people with well-known public profiles have stepped forward and spoke up that fibromyalgia is something they have been diagnosed with. These public figures are finally feeling they can speak about it. Fibromyalgia awareness is happening before our very eyes. It is about time this invisible illness is brought out of the darkness and into the light.
With the Awareness comes uninformed ideas about what to do with this debilitating syndrome. False information can be fed to very vulnerable, chronically ill individuals. You may believe the claims and spend a lot of money believing that their treatment will be the one that provides you with a “cure”. Fibromyalgia is chronic, there is no current cure. Any program or person claiming otherwise does not really know what fibromyalgia is. Remember, it is chronic and there is absolutely no cure … yet.
Finally, I encourage you to become your own encyclopedia. Fibromyalgia does not affect people in the same way. Our chemical makeups are different. We may have different catalysts that caused our fibromyalgia; physical trauma, stress, illness, genetics, all leading to different symptoms presenting at different times. There is more than one way to treat fibromyalgia the trick is to find your way. You have to seek out what works for you. This will take time and energy but you can do this! You must.
Remember May is Fibromyalgia Awareness month and the 12th of May is the nationally recognized day of Fibromyalgia Awareness. The more we learn, the more power we will have over this condition. Don’t be afraid to trust the information you gather but always verify it by checking your sources!
I was nominated by Jenn from Reclaiming My Sanity for the Sunshine Blogger Award. If you haven’t done so already, check out her blog. She’s a real sweetheart.
Thank you kindly, Jenn.
When someone nominates me for an award, I always forget. Always.
Except this time, damn it! I fucking remembered and for that reason, I’m gonna make myself some blueberry muffins later.
Maybe, we’ll see if I forget.
The rules of the Sunshine Blogger Award are:
Thank the blogger who nominated you and link to them.
Answer the eleven questions asked.
Nominate 11 other bloggers.
Create 11 new and different questions for them to answer.
List the rules.
Include the “Sunshine Blogger Award” logo in your post somewhere.
Here are the questions from Jenn:
What blog post are you most proud of? I’ve written so many posts that it’s really difficult to choose a favorite. Hmm, let’s see…I think one of my favorites was “Totally Tubular.” I got stuck in the tubes at Chuck E. Cheese at my daughter’s 4th birthday party, which was a long time ago. She’ll be 21 in January, almost the same age that I was when she arrived on the scene.
Who is your favorite blogger? I have way too many blogs that I read to choose only one favorite, so I’ll just leave this question a mystery.
If you had the choice to pick a magical power what would it be? I’ve always wished that I could fly. I’ve had many dreams of swooping down and touching the tree tops at night, scaring the shit out of the owls. I also wouldn’t mind being invisible so that I could go to my ex’s house (wherever that is) and fuck around with his head. Maybe even pull a chair out from under him. Asshat. (Not my husband, my kids real father. Biological. Shit, I was trying not to use the fancier word.)
What is your guilty pleasure? Watching Lady Gaga music videos on Youtube.
What is your favorite holiday? Christmas! I like the lights, the food, the general merriment of the season. I also get to listen to Christmas music for like 2 months beforehand. Also, since I shop for gifts online now, I don’t have to run people over at Walmart while I’m using the zippycart.
If you knew you were going to be stranded on a deserted island, which 3 items would you take with? Is there an internet connection on this island? Probably not. I’d take a fancy dinner dress like Ginger from Gilligan’s Island, my best pair of fuzzy socks and a case of Bic lighters, because rubbing two sticks together would not produce fire, it would just piss me off.
What is your favorite recipe? I can make a killer lasagna.
How many times a day do you check your email? Maybe 3 or 4 times. Nothing usually there but spam and shit like that, but you never know when you’ll find an email from a real person.
What is your #1 tip for new bloggers?Be patient, be yourself and stay away from the stats page. Numbers aren’t what’s important. Seriously, don’t even pay attention to it.
What are your hobbies (other than writing)? I like to color, read, nap, play with my dogs, nap, chat online with my friends, watch TV, nap…okay, I’m starting to see a pattern here.
What is your greatest fear? I have many fears, but hands down, my greatest fear is being alone in this world. I’ve had so many failed friendships, I sometimes wonder if I’m just an easily forgettable person.
Now my questions for the nominees:
1. If you could meet one deceased famous person, who would it be?
2. Do you have any tattoos and if so, are any of them offensive?
3. Do you believe that fat bottomed girls make the rocking world go round?
4. What’s your favorite Beatles song? (Please add a 250 word essay explaining your reasons.)
5. What was your first Halloween costume?
6. Have you ever picked anything up using your feet and toes because you didn’t feel like bending over?
7. Have you accidentally farted while on a first date?
8. Did you know that the bird is the word? (Everybody know that the bird is the word.)
9. Do you always wash your hands after you use the lavatory?
10. Do you agree that people are strange, especially when you’re a stranger?
11. Do you tidy up the table before you leave a restaurant or do you give no fucks?
The 11 bloggers that I nominate are:
Anyone who wants to accept this award!! You all bring sunshine into my life. *sniff*