Dig in my heels

I’ve been doing nothing but sleeping since I got back home. Seriously. 13 hours here. 4 hours there. Another 11 and I am sure more to come this morning once my coffee wears off.

I did wake myself up long enough to see my shrink yesterday, who upped my Latuda and gave me a prescription for Ativan for anxiety. Nothing much else new really. She thinks that my depression is circumstantial more than chemical. I am also seeing a therapist next month.

It’s so funny to me that I see all of my doctors on a regular basis, yet nothing can really be done. They can’t fix me and give me my sense of humor back. This blog has been nothing but a bitching place for months now instead of a place to make people laugh.

Maybe I need to start drinking? I don’t know. I do like vodka.

vodka

I wish that I could take a trip back about 5 years ago and dig in my heels.

I know that I was short and sweet about my trip, but after talking to the shrink I have a better understanding of what I did wrong. Which was going. I am not well my friends and I am also one of the most introverted people that you will ever meet. Add those two things together and sharing a house with 5 strangers was a recipe for disaster. I tried so hard to be part of the group, but in the end it just didn’t work out well. I longed for solitude and felt awkward even though everyone was nice to me. My voice is so low it is easy to miss what I say.

You know, when I actually say something.

I also was unable to walk on the beach. A few steps and my legs started giving me misery. This really bummed me out. I cried. I also had to go to bed early almost every night because I was so tired. I ended up giving myself an awful flare and now am paying it back.

So I basically bit off more than I could chew and now I know not to do something like that again.

Have I mentioned how much I hate fibromyalgia?

Oh yeah. I have many times. I also hate ketchup, by the way. I know, weird huh?

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day- May 12

Merbear74:

This is one of the best posts I have ever read about how it feels to live with fibromyalgia.

Originally posted on K-MimiMusings:

Today, May 12th is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. I know many people don’t know much about it. The commercials for the drug Lyrica, that I see on television from time to time, say fibromyalgia  is overactive muscle pain, but that doesn’t give it justice. Fibromyalgia is a life changer. It’s a fun taker, It’s a relentless pain giver. Taking one pill, 99% of the time, doesn’t help. I’ve tried Lyrica and my result was 70 pounds of weight gain. Needless to say, I couldn’t stay on it. I have a bag filled with medications, and I still have pain.

These are some of my symptoms: headaches, nerve pain, back pain, chronic fatigue, neuropathy,  irritable bowel syndrome, rib cage pain, carpal tunnel in both hands. I’m in pain when it’s too cold. I’m in pain when it’s too hot. I have dull pain, sharp pain, persistent pain and aching in my shoulders…

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