Thankful

I ended up taking a naproxen yesterday and amazingly, my back pain subsided. I also used my heating pad for about an hour. I was able to do what I had to do. I took my daughter out to buy a graduation dress and both of us got some new summer shoes. This is no easy feat for me since I wear a size 12.

Yes, I was blessed with huge feet and also no ass. Perhaps next life I will have wee little feet and a bodacious booty.

I was out and about on a beautiful spring day. I have never taken an Aleve for pain before, so if it actually helps me a bit, I will gladly take a hole in my stomach.

I’ve learned never to take for granted a reprieve from the pain I feel. It was great to be able to feel better. Even limping after awhile was no big deal. You become so used to it, it becomes normal. I was just so ecstatic that my back wasn’t killing me that I felt like I had a new lease on life.

I made a big salad for dinner and then my daughter and I painted. I got my suitcase ready and bought myself some new bras that don’t hurt to wear, a size bigger than what I need. I stayed up late. (9pm)

All simple pleasures that mean so much to me.

I went to bed and my body felt calm for the first time in ages.

I have no idea what today will bring. I am just thankful for yesterday.

thankful

Rant Sunday

For the first time in quite awhile, I am the only one awake this morning. My dogs are snoring, my daughter is still in bed and my husband is sleeping in. I came downstairs and put on some coffee, opened my laptop and listened to the silence.

I’ve been going through some back pain the last few weeks. I am afraid that it is due to my new bed, which is comfortable while I am in it. The pain is located near my middle back and goes around my rib cage. It aches, feels weak and burns like fire. It also feels numb sometimes. It seems to get worse throughout the day. By the evening, I am ready to cry with frustration and pure disgust.

But I have things to do today so tough shit.

I can’t let it win. I keep pushing myself the best that I can. But damn.

Being in pain makes you grumpy. I lost my calm yesterday and had a bit of an outburst. My husband is constantly asking me if I am okay and I get annoyed. I know that he is just concerned and hates to see me hurting. But my answer is always the same. No dear, I feel like a turd smeared on a cracker. It isn’t going away.

I talk to my mom on the phone and she is so wonderful. I love her so much.

The weather has turned beautiful and I sit in the sunshine, hoping that it will make my body happy. But no, it never works. So much for feeling better in the warm weather.

I hate fibromylagia. It has stolen so much. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.