Are You Cool, Man?

A few years ago, I started talking to an old friend of mine again. She called me up on the phone, like back in the good old days when people still talked on the horn. We hadn’t spoken in a long time.

We exchanged your usual getting to know you (again) chit-chat, and then she paused dramatically.

“Hey, Mer….are you cool?”

“My kid sure doesn’t think so,” I replied.

“No, I mean…are you cool? You know, smoke weed?”

I was mildly offended, because at that point in my life, I was most certainly not cool.

She then started talking about her love of the herb, and how she smoked it everyday, even while she was on her breaks at work. She would go out to her car, light a smoke, and then take a few drags off of her one-hitter. (Like a portable marijuana pipe, slim and easily hidden.)

I was amazed at her blatant display of disobedience to the law. It’s one thing to smoke pot in the comfort of your own home, but to actually do it in public, that takes plenty of nerve and balls of steel.

I also wondered what kind of air freshener she used.

“I just don’t know how I would make it through my day,” she said. “It’s a lifestyle, really. I just wanted to know if you were cool, too.”

I was intrigued by this idea. This was back in 2008, a year before I started smoking marijuana to ease my increasing stress and anxiety. In retrospect, I can pinpoint the time when I felt my castle starting to crumble, as far back as 2009.

Life was starting to get increasingly harder to tolerate.

Maybe she lit my fire (haha) by her mentioning this “lifestyle” to me, but mostly I think I was just at the right place at the right time, when I was given a dime bag by someone who was “cool” at a 4th of July party.

As a wedding gift.

gift-box1

If it had been wrapped like that, I would have given it back.

Once I blew through that, I started buying it from a chick at work. Only on weekends. As my mental illness started running amok, I added evenings. All I knew was that it helped me to not give as much of a shit about every little thing.

Especially the fact that I had been promoted to the QC department without the accompanying pay raise that I had been expecting.

Or the fact that my mind was trying to convince me to kill myself.

I quit when I went to the hospital. I purged my soul, and told one of the therapists there. I got the “tsk” sound, and then she wrote it down to put in my file. I imagine it looked something like this:

Merry O. – She’s cool, man. Also, very polite.

I didn’t touch it again for 6 months. During that time period, many things occurred to make me finally succumb to the fact that my health was not getting any better, but indeed worse.

I missed my old buddy reefer. I missed how it calmed me down and made me feel better.

I decided to start-up again, because for the first time in my adult life, I cared not about the naysayers. (Nay, I say.)

There is something amazing about these little green nugs.

oscar-the-grouch-smoking-weed

It helps with my pain, and overall quality of life. Because of marijuana, I can still laugh when I’m hurting.

I now understand what my old friend had been rattling on about. I would tell her myself, but we lost contact again.

Eh, that’s cool.

50 thoughts on “Are You Cool, Man?

  1. themathmaster April 9, 2014 / 8:35 am

    Alas, my job won’t let me be cool. Otherwise, I’m cool.

    Like

  2. El Guapo April 9, 2014 / 8:44 am

    Hey, as long as you’re enjoying it and not ending up in a bad way from it, have at it and have fun.

    Like

    • merbear74 April 9, 2014 / 9:06 am

      It’s a nice alternative to opiates. Now those scare me.

      Like

  3. shoe1000 April 9, 2014 / 8:51 am

    I truly think that more people should smoke pot. The only reason I don’t is that leads me into places that are not necessarily positive for me

    Like

    • merbear74 April 9, 2014 / 9:05 am

      I have found that if I am in a really bad funk, pot can make me even more melancholy, so I can understand what you mean.

      Like

  4. 1jaded1 April 9, 2014 / 9:00 am

    My best friend’s fiance smokes it, much for the same reasons you do. Stay cool.

    Like

  5. Mental Mama April 9, 2014 / 9:00 am

    It’s all good as long you’re safe about it, which I know you are. My opinion about any kind of substance that *might* alter your abilities to function is to do your best to not hurt anyone else in the process. (like don’t fucking drive when you’re drunk!) Everyone has a right to do what makes them feel good and be happy, but your right to those things shouldn’t interfere with my right to be safe and not die.

    And I know you’re not a reckless smoker. Probably because you are so polite. ;)

    Like

      • Mental Mama April 9, 2014 / 10:28 am

        I don’t doubt that one bit. But I would totally settle for a quarter bag. Just sayin. ;)

        Like

  6. easyweimaraner April 9, 2014 / 11:12 am

    I’m cool when I try to kill the pains in my back or in my neck. I think it’s a much better treatment than any pills what make me nervous when I only read the instruction leaflet.

    Like

    • merbear74 April 10, 2014 / 6:12 am

      I agree…the side effects to all my meds are quite scary…only thing I wanna do with weed it eat some cookies and take a nap. :0)

      Like

      • easyweimaraner April 10, 2014 / 6:15 am

        sadly most some cookies are not enough, a truckload would be better :O)

        Like

  7. djmatticus April 9, 2014 / 11:32 am

    I used to be cool. Not full time cool, but occasional, cool by association, cool while hanging with friends at a party. But, it’s been years since I was cool. And I’ll probably never be cool again.
    But, I think if being cool works for you, then good stuff. I wouldn’t take that away from you or anyone else.

    Like

    • merbear74 April 10, 2014 / 6:13 am

      I still think you’re cool, even though you aren’t “cool” anymore. :)

      Like

  8. aliceatwonderland April 9, 2014 / 11:36 am

    I KNEW Oscar was a pothead. It’s all so clear now. And I think anything that helps you cope with this wretched hellbeast of an illness is cool. And so are you.

    Like

    • merbear74 April 10, 2014 / 6:14 am

      Thanks, Wonder Twin. Fibro can kiss my arse. And Oscar is just a giant nug of weed. Tis true.

      Like

  9. Fresh Ginger April 9, 2014 / 11:43 am

    I tried to be occasionally cool once upon a time but it doesn’t work for me. Just messes up my voice and makes my clothes stink. I know lots of cool people who insist that I’m all uptight and should be cooler. I’m still looking for another way … to be cool.

    Like

    • merbear74 April 10, 2014 / 6:15 am

      Oh, cool comes in many forms. My friends called me a fuddy duddy when I was a kid, they would be so proud of me.

      Like

      • Fresh Ginger April 10, 2014 / 1:07 pm

        Yup. I lean to toward the Fuddy Duddies these days. It’s boring over here.

        Like

  10. Twindaddy April 9, 2014 / 12:15 pm

    So, if cool means you puff the magic dragon, what is the word for drinking the magic elixir of life?

    Like

      • Twindaddy April 10, 2014 / 7:15 am

        Woohoo!!

        Like

      • Twindaddy April 10, 2014 / 7:24 am

        Lol

        Like

  11. goldfish April 9, 2014 / 12:34 pm

    I’ve never understood why people use veiled questions like “you cool?” I once had someone at the gym ask me if I liked to party. He was asking if I wanted some cocaine… at the gym… while I was working out… WTF?

    Like

    • merbear74 April 10, 2014 / 6:16 am

      I guess they must be afraid we’re narcs or something. Here, let me pull out my DEA badge. Whatevs.

      Like

  12. behindthemask April 9, 2014 / 1:42 pm

    I’d like to be cool to help my situation but it’s so dammed expensive and there’s so much red tape to weed (get it?) through. Not to mention I’m sure my doc won’t support it, so I’d have to pay another doc $400 to sign the paperwork. I think it’s a much better option than most prescription meds.

    Like

    • merbear74 April 10, 2014 / 6:17 am

      Yup, and hopefully someday soon, those dumb asses in charge will figure this out. xo

      Like

      • behindthemask April 10, 2014 / 11:51 am

        Well here the gov. is seeing dollar signs and shutting down all the compassion clubs and taking over sales..soo…i can’t see it getting any cheaper dammit

        Like

  13. tlohuis April 9, 2014 / 7:24 pm

    I’m cool because it’s better than all of these prescription drugs, including narcotics and opiates. I hate putting synthetic drugs into my body. I prefer to go all natural! I’m just cool all the way around, just sayin…………………………………. By the way, I went ahead and posted my fibromyalgia post to my blog since you encouraged me to. So, when you have a minute, check it out and let me know what you think. I like yours a lot better.:) Stay cool!:)

    Like

  14. C.K. Hope April 10, 2014 / 1:34 am

    I used to be cool years and years ago. I tried to be cool a few years ago, instead I became jumpy and paranoid, which was shitty as well as uncool ;)

    Like

    • merbear74 April 11, 2014 / 7:37 am

      When I was younger, I tried to be cool, but I tweaked out too often, just like you. I still think you’re cool as hell, though. :)

      Like

  15. gatergirl96 April 10, 2014 / 10:45 am

    I’m not “cool”. I just breath in and breath out like Martin Lawerance in Bad Boys 2 “Wooss AHH”” Lol!

    Like

    • merbear74 April 11, 2014 / 7:39 am

      I haven’t seen that movie. I betcha Martin Lawrence is cool.

      Like

      • gatergirl96 April 11, 2014 / 10:47 am

        Lol!

        Like

  16. faithhopechocolate April 10, 2014 / 3:56 pm

    I do wish they’d make pot legal. I mean, the high you get from pot is the same as a non-smoker gets when drunk and smoking a normal ciggie. And alcohol and regular cigs are still legal (for now).

    I’m glad that being “cool” gets you through the day.

    Like

    • merbear74 April 10, 2014 / 5:31 pm

      It does, Faith, thank you. We be cool, man. :)

      Like

I love your comments, but be nice...I cry easily.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s