Back in my youth, I slipped on some black ice outside of a McDonald’s.

Iย landed right on my tailbone. The pain was so bad, I thought I had shattered it or something equally terrible.

If I had, I could have gotten free milkshakes for life.

Years later, I was putting away stock at the daycare I worked at for a while, and yanked my back. To this day, I have a swatch of numbness back there that never goes away.

Two weeks before my wedding, I was carrying boxes out to my car after the shower, and tripped on the curb. (I got a kick-ass blender.) I sprained my ankle badly and had to use crutches for a week or so.

So now, I have a weak ankle that doesn’t take all that much to piss off.

I could go on, but I think I have made my point clearly enough.

Hello, I’m Merry. And I’m a klutz.

If there is a rock to trip over, my feet will find it.

Same with a banana peel.

I will stumble into the wall, knock over your water-glass, drop a chicken wing onto the floor, and still manage to stub my toe on the kitchen table.

My mom has said that I have the grace of an elephant.

I have thought of buying a huge roll of bubble-wrap in order to protect myself, but I’m afraid people would follow me around, trying to pop me.

Are you a klutz, too, or are you the master of your personal space?