I’ve always known that I had a natural knack for sarcasm.

But now it’s official.


It has a seal, so it must be real. Thanks, Twindaddy.

I think one of my first sarcastic quips was when I locked two girls outside during trash pick-up duty in the 5th grade.

They had teamed up on me, (mean little things) and while they were outside by the dumpster, I closed the heavy doors that automatically locked. I stood there, and in an odd stroke of unusual behavior, watched with glee as they begged me to open the doors.

“Pffft,” I said. ( I wish I would have known about the finger, but I was sheltered as a child.)

Then, I turned and went back to the classroom. All they had to do was buzz the office anyways. It wasn’t like I kicked their asses out by the dumpster or something. (Though in hindsight, that would have been cool.)

What is sarcasm, exactly?

The use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

No shit, really?

One of my favorite things about sarcasm, it can be used in almost any conversation you have. It is versatile, and oftentimes confusing for idiots to comprehend.


Not a day goes by that I don’t use sarcasm to some extent.


Proper technique is important. You have to make sure that your facial expressions match the level of acid your words inflict.


Hmm, just a bunch of resin and unused punch lines in there.

My mama always said, it’s better to have had it and lost it, than never to have had it at all.

Shit, stop me, before I meme again!