If you were expecting Tootie or Blair, I apologize. Let me see if I can muster up a Jo or a Natalie.

tootie

You’re welcome!

I have made many mistakes in my life, and I reckon I will make many more before my time is up here on planet earth.

The great thing about mistakes is, every now and then you will learn from them. Let me demonstrate more clearly.

factsSee?

I watched this show religiously as a kid, and damned if I didn’t pick up on some of what Mrs. G’s girls were putting down.

1. You will fail.

I’m sorry to have to say this, but we will all fail miserably at least once. We can’t be good at everything. I have never been able to walk in high heels, no matter how many times I have tried.

I blame it on weak ankles. It’s genetic.

Thanks, mom.

2. Not everyone will like you.

I can’t help but to still feel a bit hurt when I realize someone dislikes me. Rejection is no fun. The truth is, not every human in this world is compatible with me. I’ve never been one to push my will onto anyone, so I usually do my mourning of destroyed relationships in silence.

My ex boyfriends loved me though, because I never went bat shit crazy on them. I loathe confrontation. When forced to throw down, I feel all shaky and pukey.

Yet again, I blame this on genetics.

Don’t waste your time on people who could care less about you. Complete waste of time and energy. Which brings us to…

3. Love hurts.

Love-Many-Splendored-ThingLove is a many splendored thing, my ass.

There are so many kinds of love, like how I get a little choked up when I see my coffee in the morning, or how much I adore my Beatles jammy pants.

I am usually excellent at controlling my romanticized emotions, but I admit there has been a few times when I’ve been flummoxed by my heartstrings.

Love can be confusing, wonderful, and oh, so shitty.

4. People will hurt you.

Can I get a raise of hands, please?

There is no way to deny this one, it is universal.

My ex did not like me. Not one bit. He has never told me why, either. A few years ago, I received an email from him. He apologized for all he had done to me, and had the audacity to say that he was sorry that he hadn’t made me happy.

I never responded, because I don’t believe him. He has hurt me the most, for the longest duration of time. I lost most of my 20’s because of him, and all because he got off on hurting me.

5. I want money, and lots of it.

I am poorer now than I have ever been in my life. I don’t care what anyone says, my life would be oodles better if I had a few grand lying around.

Let’s see, what would I do with that much money?

Get new wood floors, my carpet reeks like dog.

bensonPaint my living room. It looks like 1987 in here.

Get my hair did.

Oh well. Anyone want some ramen noodles?

6. Laughter is the best medicine.

If it weren’t for humor, I would be in the corner with a lampshade on, humming Their Coming To Take Me Away.

To the funny farm, where everything is beautiful all the time….except for the cereal bars and skim milk.

I read somewhere years ago that depressed people are the most funniest. I’m not so sure about that, but we are wonderful actors when we feel up to it. I have put on a happy face since I was a young girl. I know many people who do not have any sort of mental disorders, and they are hysterical.

Debunked.

 gave me the idea for this post yesterday when she recommended at least one full belly laugh a day.

Maybe we could throw in another one for good measure?

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