I have covered many taboo topics over the course of a year or so now, but this one has always left me feeling a bit limp.
No, just kidding. I’m a girl.
I think I’m a brave one, though. It isn’t easy hitting that publish button sometimes.
Good, clean fun.
It took me awhile to decide in what direction I should tackle this rarely discussed, yet wildly in vogue taboo.
Should I come at it from the right, or perhaps the top?
Both gets the job done, but I think I’ll go from the bottom up.
I was making out rather heavily with an old boyfriend. He had this beast-master of a car, with a long bench seat. It gave us the freedom to try new things, without one of us getting a gear shift up our ass.
One rainy night, we were parked by the lake, windows foggy from our exertion.
Think Bob Segers “Night Moves” or the car scene from the “Titanic” movie.
Right in the middle of this very enjoyable make out session, he leaned back in his seat and motioned to his elongated endowment. My blood instantly heated up, and then traveled to my face. I felt like I had just been told the worlds dirtiest joke.
I was rendered motionless for at least a full minute. On one hand, I sorta wanted to. He was my boyfriend, after all. Yet I just sat there, staring down my new nemesis, eye to eye, if you will.
I couldn’t do it. Maybe it was because we were in a car, and knowing my rotten luck, a cop would shine his flashlight on us while I was downwind.
My boyfriend did seem a bit disappointed when I declined. But then his eyes lit up like a my old Lite Brite, and he asked me if he could…..well, you know….
My answer was an emphatic hell no.
This had been my first opportunity to delve into this illicit act with someone that I had loved and trusted at the time, and I had chickened out.
Yet again, I really think it was the car that was the deal breaker.
Or maybe, it still just seemed icky to me. 😛
Nowadays, I have no fear of fellatio aka blow jobs, hummers, or playing tonsil hockey.
I have even perfected a move I like to call The Zig Zag Lollipop, that I will leave to your imagination for many numerous reasons.
I think my husband would prefer that I keep my secrets to myself.
I already know that the majority of men are delightfully fond of this form of affection.