I thought it would be a great idea to do a positive post, since I have been down the proverbial shithole the last few weeks.
Driving is a privilege, not a right, according to my old drivers ed teacher, and I took that bit of wisdom seriously. I taught my baby brother how to drive, and soon I will teach my own kid. I have never been in a car accident that I myself have caused, and I have a perfect driving record. I take great pride in my road skills, and the fact that I don’t trust anybody to do what they are supposed to do. Each person is a potential asshole.
If you cut me off, I will give you the middle finger.
I am damn good at making people laugh, both online and in real life. I have wonderful comedic timing, and a sarcastic streak that I can’t control. Smartass quips are my speciality, and I will gladly use my own self as the punchline. Anything for a laugh, that’s my motto. Even when I am at my worst, I will still seek to find the humour in my current situation.
The only drawback to this is that not everything is meant to be funny.
For example, I don’t make jokes at a funeral.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has said, “Wow, that Merry is a nice girl,” I could have purchased my own island by now.
I would name it Mertopia.
I do have the ability to not be very nice, don’t get me wrong. It isn’t pretty, either.
But at my core, I hate seeing people suffer, and if I truly like you, I will do everything in my power to be nice to you.
If I don’t like you, then Uh Oh Spaghetti O’s.
I’ve been writing poetry since I was a little girl. Some of it isn’t all that great, but there have been a few that I am incredibly proud of.
I tone it down here on my blog, but I am proficient at profanity.
Damn fucking right it does, Gladys.
I am a worrywart. I worry about everything, and then I worry some more. Cause, you know, why not?
This is something that I wish I wasn’t good at. I wouldn’t be surprised if I had an ulcer, such is the state of my worrying.
Damn it, I really wanted this post to be 100% optimistic. Hmm, maybe next time.
Do you kick ass at anything?