I have spent the majority of my life overweight.

I have had two short amounts of time when I have been thin-like. The first was a growth spurt when I was 3 or so, and the second was when I partook in a weight loss challenge at my old job back in 2009.

I came in second by just a few ounces, and didn’t win the $200 prize. Bummer.

I lost 40 lbs in total, and it wasn’t easy. I counted and measured every bite that I took. I passed on fast food, and had minimal sweets. I switched to Splenda. I also exercised almost daily, walking my dog Maggie in the evenings. I was still healthy then and had the occasional fibro flare, but nothing a few Tylenol and a nap couldn’t take care of.

The feeling of buying new clothes for myself, and finally having a waistline, was phenomenal. I bought some sexy tops and size 14 jeans. It was a tremendous accomplishment.

And I was able to keep it off for 2 years, but when they switched my anti-depressant to Celexa, the shrink at Oakview warned me that I might end up gaining weight. I shrugged, because I didn’t give a whistlers fart. I just wanted to have my sanity back, and my will to live intact.

I have gained most of it back, (the weight….my mind is another story) and this will not do.

So, I bought a Ninja.

With pulse technology!

It was delivered yesterday. My daughter and I oohed and ahhed over it, but all we had were some banana’s, milk and ice cubes.

So, she and I went out today and bought some various fruits and veggies. The veggies are for me, because the idea of drinking carrots and celery does not appeal to her delicate, young taste buds. I happen to love veggies and do not eat enough of them, cause lazy.

That asparagus looks a bit smug for my liking.
That asparagus looks a bit smug for my liking.

No, it’s because we eat a bunch of junk ass food around here, and it’s time to make a change.

I bypassed the deli, and the snack aisles, though I let the offspring get some Cheese-Nips. I didn’t buy any goodies, or sweets. I even bought some kale, because it sounds so distinguished.

“Why, what is that you’re drinking there?”

“Mangoes, bananas, blueberries, and kale.”


I know I can do this again, if I put my mind to it. Once a week, I will allow myself a milkshake or a pound cake. I mean, piece of pound cake.

I think I can, I think I can.

I know if I were less voluptuous, I would feel better. Plus, less garbage food can never be a bad thing.

Since the blender/juice extractor/ food processor/ dough maker didn’t come with a decent recipe book, we winged it when we got home with our wares.

This is what we did:

I banana

3 frozen strawberries

10 blueberries

2 tablespoons low-fat vanilla yogurt

Splash of OJ

Titch of milk

I am no smoothie wizard, but it was surprisingly tasty.

Next time, I will make some veggie juice with some kale. I really hope it doesn’t taste like shit.