When I was a kid, I had a genuine Mork from Ork doll. When you pulled his string, he said, “Nanu Nanu!” and “Shazbot!”  I wish that I still had it. I can’t recall what exactly happened to him, but I’m sure he ended up in a trash bag or donated.

Being an 80’s kid, I grew up with Robin Williams. I watched the movie “Popeye” over and over again on HBO. Once I got a little older, I felt inspired to seize the day. I wept at the end of “Awakenings.” I laughed until my eyes teared up during “Mrs. Doubtfire.” 

His stand-up comedy was the best, though. I aspired to be like him, always on, making people laugh. I admired him. I still do, regardless of how he died. My respect for him remains intact.

I was laying in my hospital bed when I got the news that he had passed away from an apparent suicide. The nurse that night gave me the scoop, and at first I thought it was just one of those internet hoaxes. I tried to scour the interwebs on my Galaxy, but the hospital Wi-Fi was incredibly slow. It was almost impossible to get much info, a snippet here and there.

So sad, the hospital staff said. A shake of the head. Poor man succumbed to his demons. What a shame.

I had to put my grief on hold, my own illness my priority.

I read as much as I could yesterday, late to the party, and that is when it really hit me in the gut.

I started to cry, which is not normal for me at all. The only other celebrity that I have ever shed a tear for was Chris Farley. 

I’ve lost two kindred spirits now.

I found this quote, something that I haven’t already seen 50 times on a meme.

“What’s wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can’t we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy gentlemen. If we’re going to fight a disease, let’s fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.” – Patch Adams

My best friend said, “He lost the battle.” A chill ran down my spine. 

“I know,” I responded.

“Oh, they have a dark side (funny people), I mean, because they’re looking at that. In the process of looking for comedy, you have to be deeply honest. And in doing that, you’ll find out here’s the other side. You’ll be looking under the rock occasionally for the laughter. So they have a depressed side. But is it always the sad clown thing? No. But I find comics to be pretty honest people in terms of looking at stuff from both sides, or all sides. ...”

I’ll keep looking under the rocks.


Shazbot. ❤