Dear Merbear,

My dog won’t stop barking at the mailman. What should I do?


Loud Noises

Dear Loud Noises,

Buy some earplugs, or even better, join in the fun!

Barking is a great stress reducer, not to mention awesome exercise for your vocal cords.

Hey! I’m just the messenger, Cujo!

Dear Merbear,

No matter what I do, I can’t seem to stop talking to myself.


Am I Crazy?

Dear Am I Crazy,

I’m sorry, what was that again?

Dear Merbear,

What’s a believable excuse for not wanting to go out? Washing my hair is so typical and overused.


I Don’t Wanna

Dear I Don’t Wanna,

I usually just tell people thatΒ I have already taken my bra offΒ for the day. It seems to work well enough. Good luck!


Dear Merbear,

What’s the best way to get people to like you?


Lonely And Unpopular

Dear Lonely And Unpopular,

You might want to start wearing a bra in public, stop barking like a dog and quit talking to yourself.