This is embarrassing, but I am so constipated. It’s been 5 days! What can I do?
All Plugged Up
Dear All Plugged Up,
Make yourself a tasty Prune Juice Smoothie. Don’t knock it til you try it. I swear by the stuff myself.
No, I’m just kidding.
Is there such a thing as swearing too much?
Dear Foul Mouth,
No…I mean, fuck no.
I have a bad habit of cracking my knuckles. What can I do?
Snap Crackle Pop
Dear Snap Crackle Pop,
Look at it this way, at least you don’t suck your thumb. Remember, it can always be worse.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the mood for a bowl of Rice Krispies for some reason.
My doctor told me to eliminate stress in my life. Do you have any suggestions?
Anxiety Attack Mama
Dear Anxiety Attack Momma,
Haha!! That is hilarious.
I like to make myself a nice Xanax Smoothie and scream obscenities into a pillow.
Helpful Hint: Use a banana, they are full of fucking potassium.
Are you in need of my wise and wonderful advice?
If so, shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org or leave it in the comments below.
I will use it in a future Ask Merbear post!