I broke down yesterday and called my doctors office. She has a med-line, where I usually ask for a refill of my pain pills, but this time I requested some Xanax. My anxiety has been amping up something awful lately. I’m not sure if she’ll give me any, but it’s worth a shot.

I’ve been dealing with this sorta thing since I was just a little kiddie, and to be perfectly honest, this shit is getting old.

I’m like a little teapot that gets all hot and bothered, only not in the good, sexy way. There are so many things to obsess, to worry and make myself altogether kooky about.

It’s so exhausting to be constantly hypervigilant.

My dogs have that bullshit on lockdown, I shouldn’t.

Does this dog have fibro?

Let’s get to debunking a couple of these natural anxiety fixer uppers, shall we?

1. Deep Breathing

When I put my head between my knees, I notice just how dirty my carpet is. This makes me even more anxious, which is redundant as all get out.

When was the last time I cut my toenails? Oh well, they’ll come in handy if I ever need to cut a bitch.

2. Positive Thinking

Every little thing’s gonna be alright. Cause Bob Marley says so. Nanner nanner poo poo.

Yep, no worries here. I mean, who needs electricity, anyways?

Yum, cereal for dinner! My favorite. It’s been so long since I’ve had any red meat, my body might just reject a steak as a foreign substance.

I much prefer going up to my bedroom and throwing non-breakable objects at the wall, while screaming a war cry.

I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell.

That plastic cup with a few sips of water left inside of it is just perfect, followed by that book I’ll never read.

So what that I throw like a girl? I am a girl, asshat. Bwahahahaha!

I really hope that my doctor comes through for me.