You have the urge to give a small child the finger.

You haven’t showered in days, and actually enjoy stinking to high heaven.

Jumping off of a cliff sounds like a mighty fine idea. Never mind that you are afraid of heights.

You wonder how many people will come to your funeral.

You listen to Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” in it’s entirety, with lyrics.


You don’t want to go outside, because there are people everywhere.

You stay in bed so long, the mattress has a permanent indentation of your body.

Any and all advice from loved ones doesn’t matter one iota, because they just don’t understand! Don’t they see that you have the sads?

The sun makes you hiss.


Plastering on a fake smile requires a hot glue gun. Not just for crafts anymore!

You go through an entire box of Kleenex in 3 days.

You turn your cell phone to vibrate, and when it rings, you laugh merrily.

Redirected to voicemail, sucker ass.