Last night, I broke one of my Xanax in half and swallowed it down with a glass of sugar-free pink lemonade. I wasn’t overly anxious, but I decided that I deserved a break from giving a shit about things for a while. Bottoms up!

Within a few minutes time, I had a nice, peaceful, easy feeling going on.

I was on the computer, playing a Facebook game called Wititudes. Here’s one that I did while under the influence of my fuck-it-all pill.

deaf ears_Merry

Poor Bobby.

I started to have an issue sitting upright. I kept swaying in my heavily padded computer chair. It was time to make the transition to the couch before I ended up flopping onto the floor.

So, I grabbed a few objects such as my ashtray, cigarettes, my green lighter and cellphone. The plan was to further entertain myself with a bubble shooter game, although I’ve been stuck on level 15 for the better half of a week now.

He’s so cute. I’m pretty sure that he’s a fox, but maybe he’s a raccoon. One of these days, my little woodland friend, we will move on to level 16, I promise.

Deeply entrenched in my 200th try to match the pretty colored bubbles, my body started to actually meld into the couch cushions. I felt like a blob of contentment, all melty like a grilled cheese sandwich.

I had the munchies, so I ate me some grapes and an apple instead of a package of Oreo’s. Gotta watch my sugar, I have the diabeetus.

I tried to do my leg exercises, but they were not having any of that bullshit, no sir. Didn’t matter, though.

In fact, nothing really mattered. And that’s the glory of a Xanax. We could have had a tornado last night and I would have been like, “Oh, did we roll up the windows on the car?”

I finally started to doze off, and I heard my husband call my name from what seemed like a great distance. Time for beddy-bye, goodnight sweetheart, goodnight.

And I only took a half. Now I understand why the psychiatrist at the hospital wouldn’t give me Xanax. It’s just far too addicting to feel that damn chill.

This morning, I am back to my normal jumpy self. The desire to take another is strong, but I will refrain. I gave myself a little treat, it was wonderful.

I must face the truth; I am one anxious bitch.