I’m really tired and in lots of pain right now, but the show must go on.
Here is a short list of ways to motivate people. (That don’t work and are just plain rude if you ask me.)
– Suck it up, buttercup!
– Turn that frown upside down, nobody likes a Debbie Downer. (Or a Bummed Out Betty.)
– Here’s a little song I wrote, you might want to sing it note for note.
Great advice, Bobby. Tell me, how do those tight jeans feel on your junk?
The weather is getting colder and more fall like. This is my favorite season. I carry a blanket around with me throughout the house, just like Linus.
Oh, shut up Sally. That blue bow is heinous.
Sadly, the colder it gets outside, the worse my body feels. No more jumping in the fall leaves for me. But, the leaves are still beautiful to look at, and then they fall to the ground and die.
Next thing you know, I’ll start painting everything black.
“The weird thing is that a self compassion moment happened to me once many years ago. I was sitting thinking about the mess of my life. I suddenly saw myself as if I was not myself, but me looking at some one else’s life. I felt deep compassion for “this person” (me), struggling on trying to do my best in very difficult circumstances – circumstances beyond my control. A feeling of such love and understanding for “this person” welled up – empathy, sorrow, admiration, when I saw my life as a stranger. I realised that being “human” is very difficult. Admiration for ALL humans came upon me – and for all living creatures. “Living” is difficult – as difficult for a tiny spider, a mouse, an elephant, as it is for a human. LIVING (feeling, sensing, responding, reacting, having consciousness) is an incredible miracle. It’s so amazing, it’s hard to do it well. No living thing does it “well”. We all do the best we can in the circumstances we are in; millions of humans do it courageously, with acceptance. Creatures do this “living” thing because they have to – there is no way out, except not living. Self compassion, to me, is to include myself in the admiration I have for the vast flow of life that animates the world. Our “habits” are the costumes we wear in our personal “living”. They give us character, and often protect us from more pain or dull our senses. We don’t need to like our habits, or even ourselves, but if we see ourselves as creatures doing this difficult thing called “being alive”, no better, no worse than other living creatures, we can accept our own pain, suffering, fear, rage, joy, stupidity, pleasure, with compassion knowing we are sharing it with all other living things. Somehow, the burden becomes lighter when we know how we feel is being experienced billions of time over elsewhere and we can love ourselves for being part of it too.
We are amazing. You are amazing!”
So are you. Thank you for taking the time to leave this comment, I have reread it many times over, and I am sure that I will revisit it often.
I’ve been plugging away at my little writing job, and so far have made enough money to either buy a decent amount of groceries, pay a bill, or save it away for Christmas presents for my kid this year. I’m enjoying it immensely and it is slowly starting to make a dent in my mostly negative self-esteem. Maybe I don’t suck as badly as I thought.
I’m working on it, sheesh.
I finally made an appointment with a psychiatrist. I’ll see her next Tuesday. I’m anticipating a med change. We shall see what happens, but yes, it’s time to do something about this recurring case of the intense sads. I still believe that it has something to do with how damned miserable I feel all of the time, but it could also be partly due to those fucking wonky brain chemicals.
Well, that’s it for this week. I hope you all have a great weekend.
Damn, sorry. I wanted to leave you all with a positive message. At least the kitty is cute.