When I have a flare, it doesn’t just affect my body, it messes with my mind.
I get angry, bitter, pissed off, scared as hell and think that everybody hates me. I know it ties in with my low self-esteem, which is something that I have struggled with my entire life. It’s honestly even worse now, although it comes and goes.
I don’t feel strong, or believe that I am courageous or a fighter. I break down something awful.
I wanted old friends and family to acknowledge me, like you all do. When I posted a fibro meme on Facebook.
I wanted them to say, hey that sucks Mer. But, I care. I give a shit. You are NOT fibro. You still have value and I see you. Behind the dark circles around your eyes and the hard set of your mouth that tells everyone you hurt.
Behind the humor.
I had a high school friend totally blow me off when it was my turn to tell her how I was. Kinda like a last straw for me.
I just have a sad heart.