I was going to do a post about my favorite toys that I had as a kid growing up in the 80’s, but then I saw this:

It could be worse. At least it’s not He-Man.

I stumbled upon Barbie by accident, but the following disturbing toys were harder to find and not perverted.

I promise.

The Cast from the Children of the Corn (My Buddy Dolls) 1985

They are hungry for your soul.

Slime (Invented in 1976. Popularity soared into the 80’s.)


The kid on the left looks like he needs a time-out.

Ronald McDonald Doll (1977)

I’ll never eat a Big Mac again. Maybe drink a milkshake, though.

Ghostbusters Monster Toilet (1989)

Nice tongue, but I think I’d rather use that tree over yonder. (I lied.)

Pick-Up Sticks (Early 18th Century)

These were perfect to stab my brother with. Yep, that’s pretty much it.

Baby Laugh-a-Lot (1971)

I wonder how many nightmares this doll provoked. Just looking at her makes me want to join a support group.

Animal Loving Ken Doll (1988)

I lack the proper words. What would you caption this?