I know its been awhile. I apologize. It isn’t a cakewalk scouring for lame songs. They have to meet certain criteria, such as music video quality, song lyric lameness and how long I can tolerate listening to the offending tune without vomiting.

I’ve noticed that a song can be ultra lame, yet I can still like it. It’s better if I can’t stand it. It is not a simple task, my friends.


Today’s song comes to us via John Mellencamp, without the cougar this time. I don’t really understand why he can’t make up his mind about his name, but that isn’t my business. All I know is, his videos were low-budget pieces of humorous crap designed for people 30 years later to make fun of. So for that, thank you JCM JM. You make my job that much easier.

If you were born with a dirty mind like I was, “Hurts so good” gives you a little giggle, cause you know to what he is referring to. No, he isn’t talking about picking scabs or finally getting to use the bathroom. He is clearly talking about nookie.

“Sometimes love don’t feel like it should! You make it hurt so good!”

You have no idea.

I’ll be honest, I have had sex before. I don’t enjoy pain in any capacity. This song must be an anthem for people like that weirdo from 50 Shades of Grey. Yes, I read the first one because my aunt said it was erotic. (That was disturbing.)

Sorry, I’m back on track.

“I ain’t talkin’ no big deals
I ain’t made no plans myself
I ain’t talkin’ no high heels
Maybe we could just walk around all day long
Walk around all day long”

Sounds great, especially since I don’t own any high heels, but I think I’d rather just jump in bed.

Not with him. To take a nap. Get your mind out of the gutter.

I won’t add the lyrics because we all know them.