“It is what it is.” Deflection of our true feelings on a topic.

“Sigh.” Universal for oh for fuck sake.

“It’s all good.” Not really.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Chances are, I most certainly do.

“That’s the way the cookie crumbles.” And there are crumbs in the bed.

“Let’s let bygones be bygones.” I’ll maybe forgive you, but I’ll never forget.

“Whatever will be, will be.” Sing it, Doris Day.

“When it rains it pours.” My hair is frizzy.

“Speak of the devil.” I didn’t know my ex was here.

“Time heals all wounds.” So does chocolate.

“Shit happens when you party naked.” It does, I have pictures.

“A penny saved is a penny earned.” Obviously you haven’t seen my bank account.

“An idle mind is the devils playground.” Oh shit, I’m screwed.

“Another day, another dollar.” And another bill.

“You’re barking up the wrong tree.” Get off my lawn.

“Beat around the bush.” Can’t you buy me a drink first?