I haven’t felt sexy in ages.


If only it were that easy. If someone turns me over gently, I end up taking a nap.

I used to know exactly how to be sexy, but somewhere over the course of the last few years, it has dissipated. I think it might have something to do with wearing pajama pants all of the time and having my hair in a lopsided bun.

Oh where oh where hath my sexy gone?

Oh where oh where can it be?

I’ve looked everywhere for it, even under the fridge. I tried shaving all of my hairy places and using lotion. I put on mascara and eyeliner. I practiced winking in the mirror. Then I noticed an eye booger, so that sorta didn’t work out so well. It seems like no matter what I do, I can’t bring sexy back.


Seriously, when you feel like a half-eaten shit sandwich most of the time, it really does mess with your ability to feel sexual. My husband is understanding and supportive, but I still wish that I could be like I was before, feeling in tune with my body and actually being able to flaunt my stuff.

I still have stuff, it’s just tired.

The 40’s are supposed to be the sexual prime of a woman’s life, or so I have heard. I think mine were during my 20’s.