If you really listen to song lyrics hard enough, you’ll find that some are positively frightening.


Let’s take this classic from back in the day.

The tide is high but I’m holding on
I’m gonna be your number one
Number one, number one

This is the plea of a very desperate woman. You can tell because of the chanting.

I’m not the kind of girl who gives up just like that
Oh, no

You started singing the next part, didn’t you?

This guy must be a magic man, which by the way doesn’t qualify as a lame song. Sorry, Blondie. I just calls them like I see’s them.

Every girl wants you to be her man
But I’ll wait my dear ’til it’s my turn

Eww. Listen, you don’t want to share this guy with other females. You deserve better than that. Trust me girl, he ain’t worth it. I wouldn’t doubt it if he has herpes.

It’s not the things you do that tease and wound me bad
But it’s the way you do the things you do to me

Ugh, I don’t want to know.

Sounds like a real winner. Keep on holding on and we’ll keep on making fun of you.

Cause that’s what we do here on So Lame Saturday’s.