When I look in the mirror, the glass thanks me.

I am so wonderful that when I go out somewhere, people flock to my side awaiting my next move.

When I was born, the doctor asked for my autograph.

While in my presence, dogs stop barking and wag their tails in appreciation.

All of the pizza slices argue about which one of them I’ll eat next.

My parents bathed me in moonbeams and rainbows.

I’m so amazing, my bed cries when I get out of it in the morning.

This post is full of nonsense, just like me. Be jealous.