No matter what I do, how many pills I take, positive thoughts I think, funny memes I read, there is a dark place inside of me. I can sweep it under the rug most days, ignore it, put dirt over it.
But it never goes fully away. It sticks like glue.
It comes out of nowhere and I am so intensely sad that it takes my breath away. It feels like a full time job battling with it, trying not to allow it to consume me. It’s exhausting.
Perhaps this is just a part of who I am. Maybe I was just born this way. (Thanks for the ear worm, Lady Gaga.)
Sadness is around every corner, just waiting to assault me. I over think everything and can find fault with ease. A realist or is it just depression? All I know is that it pisses me off, to be so melancholy. I would do anything to really feel true happiness again.