I had my appointment at the pain management clinic yesterday morning. I had been a nervous wreck about it all week. I expected more of the same, sorry, we can’t do anything for you, get some exercise and drink some kale smoothies.

I was honest. I said that this was my last stop. I was miserable and just done with the running from specialist to specialist. I needed someone to believe me when I say that I am in pain 24/7.

As the nurse practitioner explained quite eloquently, my central nervous system is all out of whack. I was surprised that she had an intelligent conversation about the disease with me. Usually, the doctors don’t even bother to discuss it or listen to my insight.

She asked what my pain levels were.

She did a tender point test on me.


Yes, that shit hurts. Especially when she got to my hips. I almost swore.

She left me to go have a pow-wow with the doctor and came back within a few minutes. He said that I could have hydrocodone, 5mg a day. He gave me a prescription for this month and January. I see the actual doctor himself the next time on February 8, 2016.

I cannot even tell you how great it felt to be taken seriously. I now have pain medication again. I had to sign an agreement that I would only get the pills from them and that I would use just one pharmacy.

It does make me sad that they are unable to say, “we have cured fibromyalgia!” but I know better after almost 20 years of having it. If that were the case, I wouldn’t be writing this post and perhaps I’d even be getting ready to go to work.

I miss work.

I have been on all of the so-called meds that may help, such a Lyrica, Neurontin and Cymbalta. Bad side effects with each one. There is only one left to try, Savella. We might try it down the line, or low doses of Lyrica again, which made me feel like a zombie.


I dropped off the first prescription last night. They have to be on paper, old school. I will pick them up today. This evening I will take one, sit my ass on the couch and get some much deserved relief for a few hours.

I hope I remember to thank my shrink for referring me when I see her Tuesday.