It’s been 14 years now since I left him, but I still have nightmares about my abusive ex. The latest one happened just last night, although the details are sketchy. I did talk about him a bit with my therapist yesterday, so it must have stirred things up in my head.
I haven’t seen him in person since 2011. Here is a list of things that I would rather do than to ever have to see him again.
Eat nothing but lima beans for an entire week.
Get a colonoscopy. (I spelled that right on the first try.)
Go to a Justin Bieber concert.
Watch a Barney marathon.
Abstain from saying the word fuck for a year.
Sleep on a slab of concrete.
Tell everyone about that secret that nobody knows about.
Let the public flick boogers at me.
Drink a gallon of buttermilk (hopefully without vomiting.)
Go without my iPhone for a month.
Book another luxurious stay at the nuthouse for a week. (Okay, maybe not.)
Break my fingers with a hammer. (I better stop, this shit is getting ridiculous now.)
As you can clearly see, I loathe my ex entirely.
Have a cathartic Fuck It Friday.