My mom sewed me an ass-crack on a fake Cabbage Patch Kid.

We couldn’t afford a real one at the time. My Wonder Twin reminded me of how you had to check the dolls butt for an asscrack (and signature) in order to make sure that they were indeed legit Cabbage Patch Kids.

Was Xavier Roberts a doctor?

Mine was a Lettuce Leaf Kid or something. When I pulled down her pants, she had no ass-crack. So, without any fanfare, my mom got out her needle and thread. Then she set to work on my fake dolls lumpy rump.

Pretty soon, my Lettuce Leaf Kid had its very own ass-crack. I was thrilled.

I loved that doll. Even after my uncle bought me a real one, I still treasured my Lettuce Leaf Kid with the homemade ass-crack.

Growing up as poor as church mice wasn’t all that bad, especially when you had creative parents.