I will not allow depression and anxiety to take over my mind today.

Even though there was a fire across the way from our condo last night and numerous cats did not survive. The surviving one was having trouble breathing, as my husband held it in his arms, trying to comfort it until he was able to pass it off to someone else.

My husband ran in like an idiot hero and also saved a little dog, the one that annoys the hell out of us with its yapping bark. We will never talk smack about him ever again.

No, I will not let depression and anxiety take over my being today.

Even though I feel like weeping when I think of that fireman taking the other cats that died out of the house. That’s when I went back inside.

It didn’t happen to us, but my husband was the first one to respond when we heard the woman who lives there screaming, “Help, fire!” The terror I felt when he ran into the condo to save the dog, as I watched helplessly from the living room window.

The sound of my voice as I screamed his name.

But he made it out, little dog for once silent in his embrace.

This is where anxiety comes from, things like this that can happen on a quiet Sunday evening while watching stupid TV.

It didn’t happen to us, but we were there.

The morning air has an odor that is repulsive to me. It smells like despair and fear. When I hugged my husband, I could smell it on his black T-shirt. I wanted to slap him for going in and scaring the hell out of me. I also wanted to kiss him a million times for saving the tiny dog.

The fire department is back this morning, I can hear them outside. Investigating. The condo won’t be habitable for at least 4-6 months. Of course my husband went outside to inquire.

I had no idea that I married such a brave, caring man.

My stomach is clenching, flinching.

We’ll get new smoke detectors and look into buying a fire extinguisher, my husband says. To ease my anxious mind. In case our dryer bursts into flames too.

It didn’t happen to us. But we were there.

Thank you God, for lives saved and please watch over our own home.

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