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Not the show, although it was a great show.

If you met me in person, in living color, would you like me?

Only one blog friend has heard my voice many times over the phone, recalls the way that I snort a little when I laugh, knows how I change my voice for comedic reasons and matches my penchant for swearing.

We know each other so well that it is sometimes freaky how well we know each other.

The lost art of phone conversation is now the norm due to the internet and the invention of texting. But because Alice and I talk on the horn rather often, we know that we like each other. Chances are excellent that we would also like each other if we were ever able to meet. (Ohio and Texas is a world away for us poor folk.)

I am always honest here on my blog, but there are parts of me that you would probably not like all that much.

No, really. I mean it.

For example, I throw shade at people that I don’t like. (Trump, pretentious people, most of my neighbors, idiots on social media.)

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They get really stale.

 

I can be extremely mean spirited. I am not full of love for everybody in this world. I loathe superficiality and instantly dislike anyone who shows that trait.

I have done some really nasty things in my life. I have betrayed, lied to and manipulated people. I am no saint. I am basically a nice person, but deep inside of me there is a mean streak. A jealous streak, a cold-hearted streak and a judgmental streak.

Not to mention that I have streaks on my windows.

I wanted to do bad things to my ex. Some may say that he deserved it, but the cruel thoughts that I had were enough to make me realize what I was capable of under extreme duress.

I envy those that have money, good health, great looks and no body fat.

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I have broken at least 5 of the 10 commandments.

I have a fear that if I walked into a Catholic church, I would burst into flames.

I am easily hurt by others, which is why I try not to attach myself to people. But sadly, I let my guard down sometimes. I get angry at them. Then I will boycott them from my life without another thought because I want them to feel how I feel.

If you met me in real life, would you like me?

Would I like you?

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