Occasionally I will “detox” myself, meaning that I won’t use any medications that I take for fibromyalgia for a day or two. These include my muscle relaxer, Tianeptine, Norco, Klonopin and Marijuana. I still take my blood pressure, antidepressant and diabetes pills, plus prescription Naproxen for joint pain.
I want to see how I feel without them. Worse or better?
Worse. (I see no reason to leave you in suspense.)
I want to see if I can go without them.
My conclusion is pretty simple. I need those medications to battle a horrifically painful and scary disease.
They make me dizzy but I am already dizzy. They make me groggy but I am already groggy.
I am more pleasant to be around. Trust me, when I do a “detox” it’s better to just avoid me.
I spend so much time deciding what combination I should take always depending on how I am feeling that particular day. I’ll obsess over it.
How bad is the pain? Are my muscle spasms under control? Am I really anxious enough to take a Klonopin?
It gets to be so exhausting that I need a nap just thinking about it.
I really wish that I could feel like my old self again but that isn’t going to happen. Not anytime soon anyways. All I can do is take each day as it comes and to fight as hard as I can for some sort of livable life.
I really need some hugs today.