Occasionally I will “detox” myself, meaning that I won’t use any medications that I take for fibromyalgia for a day or two. These include my muscle relaxer, Tianeptine, Norco, Klonopin and Marijuana. I still take my blood pressure, antidepressant and diabetes pills, plus prescription Naproxen for joint pain.

I want to see how I feel without them. Worse or better?

Worse. (I see no reason to leave you in suspense.)

I want to see if I can go without them.

I can.

My conclusion is pretty simple. I need those medications to battle a horrifically painful and scary disease.

They make me dizzy but I am already dizzy. They make me groggy but I am already groggy.

I am more pleasant to be around. Trust me, when I do a “detox” it’s better to just avoid me.


She’s so fashionable.


I spend so much time deciding what combination I should take always depending on how I am feeling that particular day. I’ll obsess over it.

How bad is the pain? Are my muscle spasms under control? Am I really anxious enough to take a Klonopin?

It gets to be so exhausting that I need a nap just thinking about it.

I really wish that I could feel like my old self again but that isn’t going to happen. Not anytime soon anyways. All I can do is take each day as it comes and to fight as hard as I can for some sort of livable life.

I really need some hugs today.