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My daughter has bronchitis and an ear infection. She’s such a busy little thing with school and work that she didn’t have a chance to go to the med clinic until Sunday afternoon after she was finished babysitting her cousins.

She texted me from the pharmacy.

“Should I ask if my pills are ready? It’s been longer than 20 minutes.”

“Yes, dear.”

You have to light a fire under their asses sometimes.

When she got home, she looked like she was ready to hit the floor. Her eyes looked sick. I could always tell by her eyes when she was little if she needed to see a doctor or not.

“Are you hungry?” I asked.

“Yes, a little.”

“I can make you a grilled cheese and some canned soup. And some tea.”

“That actually sounds awesome right now,” she replied.

While we were eating, she smiled at me.

“The only thing better than this would be macaroni and cheese with hot-dogs in it.”

One of her favorite comfort foods. I laughed.

“We haven’t had that in a long time.”

“Well, we should,” she answered.

I suppose no matter how old you get, when you’re sick you want your mommy to take care of you.


 

It’s going on two weeks now since my lower back has been the main highlight of my body parts that hurt.

I’m impressed with my vocal range when I scream out in pain.

When I use Tiger Balm and my heating pad together, I smell like a freshly baked cinnamon roll.

cinnamon-roll
Got to get you into my life…oops, sorry.

Everyone has told me to go to the ER to get it looked at but I know that they’ll find nothing wrong. It would be a major waste of my time and energy. I already have pain medication and muscle relaxers, anyway.

Having a good sense of humor about it (which I do) helps tremendously.

Like one of my old coworkers used to say (repetitively) what ya gonna do?

And I’d reply with, give the boss the finger when he walks by.

And then she’d laugh because I was so silly.


 

In my ever constant search for a magic potion that makes me feel more human again, I ordered something called Blue Lotus (Nymphaea Caerulea, not to be mistaken as Nympho, although it’s supposed to also be an aphrodisiac.)

It’s a flower that the ancient Egyptians used to get stoned. You can smoke it, make a tea out of it or let it steep in alcohol. I did two days worth of research before I popped on it.

 

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The owl was a nice touch.

 

When smoked, it has an extremely subtle calming effect. When made into a tea, with a little sugar, it is more potent. I don’t feel high from it at all. Just really mellow and it seems to relax my muscles, which in turn helps a tiny bit with pain.

I give it a 6 out of 10. I’m not sure if I’ll purchase any more of it, though. No offense to the ancient Egyptians but they really didn’t know how to party.


 

I’ve been thinking about making a video to post here. Not of myself (my self-esteem isn’t good enough for that), although I would actually be talking on it. I’m still working on an idea. I just thought that maybe it would be nice for you guys to hear my voice.

Maybe I could just recite Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven while you stare at my backyard.

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