I’m endlessly searching for a substance that will make me feel like a “healthy” human being once again. The internet and I work tirelessly together, researching things that I can’t pronounce correctly. Ironically, the one thing that helps me the most is damn near impossible to come by right now.

Marijuana should be legalized and be simple to purchase, like a pack of lethal cigarettes, in this chronic pain warriors opinion. Don’t even get me started. I become fucking obsessed with it, how do I get some weed?

Ohio has until September of 2018 to set up medical marijuana, so it looks like I have a long wait ahead of me. I don’t know any “cool” people, I’m not 18 anymore.

Not to mention that it’s still widely frowned upon to discuss in polite company.

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What the actual fuck? No wonder most people still get all hush-hush about pot.
 

I feel like a naughty schoolgirl who got caught with her knickers down when I take a narcotic to relieve my pain. I would honestly trade all of the pills that I have for a bag full of good ganja.

Moving on. Rant over.

I’ll have some wine a couple of nights a week, but my therapist doesn’t like this new habit of mine at all. She says that the alcohol will screw with my antidepressants.

I know that she’s right, of course. Sigh.

I’ve tried something called Wild Dagga, an African flower. It gives me a headache and smells like shit when you smoke it. The tea is disgusting. I don’t care for it much at all.

I’ve tried something called Blue Lotus, which is also a flower. You can make a pleasant enough tea with it. It’s not too bad if you can’t sleep, but it does nothing for pain relief.

I was really digging Tianeptine for a while, but it’s crazy expensive and tastes like burning.

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Poor kid.
Perhaps you’ve heard of Kratom, which I first tried back in 2014. It’s now banned in a few states, but not Ohio. Not yet, anyway. I’m sure that it will be eventually. It’s a plant that mainly grows in Thailand. Once the leaves are dried, they get ground into a powder. It has the worst taste (bitter) and isn’t water-soluble.

But it works. I just purchased a small bit yesterday so that I can stretch out the allotted amount of hydrocodone that I have each month. I’m going to mix the powder with honey and make some little balls to pop into my mouth.

(Admit it, you laughed.)

Yes, my dear friends, I am a human guinea pig.

Would you try some of these alternatives to modern medicine or would you be afraid?

(Again, I do some major research before I try anything.)

 

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