I was finally able to acquire some marijuana (just in time for Inauguration Day,) but guess what?

It tastes like shit. I’m used to it tasting like unicorns running through a misty meadow or, at the very least, like a pony on a fucking rainbow.

This actually exists.

It smells fine, so I’m not sure if it’s me or the weed itself. It is pretty dry, so I have it chilling in a bag with a piece of lettuce for 3 hours, just like that random message board that I found on Google told me to do.


My mom is really smart. We play Words with Friends almost every night across town from each other. Loser starts next game.

Guess who that loser usually is?


She told me that it was my taste buds, in the process of healing from more than 4,000 poisons passing over my tongue for the past 25 years.

Food has been tasting weird lately, so why not grass too?

My husband doesn’t partake at all, but he says that the smoke smells normal.

I went off to do what I do when something interests me, to research the hell out of it. I am a butt-load of information on many things that would either entertain or disturb you.

Crap, my spacing is off.

It’s possible that it could be my recuperating taste buds or just a nasty tasting batch. It could also be a combo of the two.

Seriously though, my taste buds are really confused right now, plus my sense of smell is starting to magnify. I can smell my dog Maya when she farts from clear across the living room now, which makes me wonder if we should change her diet.

Anyway, they aren’t working hand in hand together. These are things that nobody really told me beforehand about quitting analogs. (Vape slang makes me so cool.)

Whatever it is, I don’t really care because it gets the job done and I can lay off of the pain pills.

If anyone has any knowledge, opinions or input about why my Mary Jane tastes like the underside of a mud puddle, please leave me a comment.