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I had to tip toe around you

Always watchful of your moods

Would you come home peaceful?

Or would you yell at me and brood?

 

I was always scared of you

The things you’d do and say

You’d swear it, that you loved me

Although it never felt that way

 

Nothing I did ever pleased you

In your eyes, I always fucked it up

I’d apologize and beg forgiveness

Frightened, that once again you’d erupt

 

You used my demons against me

You knew what hurt me the most

Myself, so damaged, nearly broken

While your ruthless self would boast

 

You really loved it when I cried

You savored each tear that I shed

You made me feel so small and worthless

I started to believe the vitriol that you spread 

 

I was stupid, lazy and fat, you’d scream

Why couldn’t I cook, or screw or clean?

I was ugly, disgusting and so clumsy 

It was all my fault when you’d turn mean

 

Looking back, I see nothing of us worth saving

I try to purge you out, yet trauma still remains

The bruises are long gone, all visibly healed

But you left me your mark, a speck of insane

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