I leaned up against my bathroom wall this morning to put on a pair of fuzzy socks. I sit down to do it any other time, but today I wanted to shake things up a bit.

I instantly regretted my decision. A sharp pain zipped through my right knee with lightning fast speed. I almost lost my balance, but I somehow managed to stay upright. It was a real close one.

Falling isn’t fun. (Duh.) It’s happened to me more than a handful of times now. I still overestimate my physical abilities and boom, down I fucking go, like a sack of flour.

Thankfully, I haven’t done any major damage to myself with these surprise interludes with gravity. I’m just really sore and greatly embarrassed afterwards, although I know that I shouldn’t be ashamed.

I can think of other things that I’d rather do to make myself sore and embarrassed.

You know, like doing The Twist, although I’m no Chubby Checker. (More like a Chubby Mer.)

I have many fears, just like we all do. (You can say that you’re fearless, but we both know that’s utter horse shit.)

I’m afraid of bees, small rodents, people with no sense of humor, loud noises that have no exact origin, death, pissed off geese (I was attacked by one years ago) and this retro recipe.

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And I thought the food at the psych ward was scary. 

 

If you would’ve told me 5 years ago that I’d be adding the fear of falling (basophobia) to my list, I would have chuckled and told you to suck a cold ham mousse egg.

If you watched the video that I did a while back of me attempting to lift my legs, then you have a good idea of just how weak they are. I do those exercises every night when I get into bed, as my doctor recommended, but my legs never get any stronger.

However, I think those exercises are what keeps them powerful enough for me to be able to still walk, although I do have a visible limp.

It’s a blessing, anyways. Limp and all.

And I don’t take it for granted. Each day that I wake up, I am thankful that my legs continue to function. Yes, I wish that they were still sturdy like they were before, but damn it anyways, these puppies can still hold my weight. (Which shall remain a secret.)

Since we’re talking about (rational?) fears today, I have to ask:

What are you most afraid of?

And would you eat cold ham mousse?

If you say yes, then perhaps you’re fearless after all.

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