After I was finished paying the bills yesterday, I noticed that I had more money left over than usual.

Well shit, I thought to myself. What a lovely surprise.

Of course, the all knowing Facebook (so creepy) had to remind me about the awesome purse that I’ve recently been coveting.

If you stop being such a cheapskate and buy me, your life will finally have meaning.


For some women, it’s shoes. If I get reincarnated as a female with small feet, maybe then I’ll own more than 2 pairs. They don’t offer cute shoes for a size 11 wide width.

But with handbags, it doesn’t matter if you have man feet. One size fits all and whatnot.

I haven’t purchased a pack of cigarettes since January 8th. According to my calculations, I’ve already saved a shitload of money. (A shitload is a lot, trust me.)

Seriously though, I was spending at least $180 a month on cigarettes, if not more.

That’s fucking fizznuts.

So why am I having such a difficult time buying myself that $25 dollar purse?

Because I already own enough, two of them Coaches. Because I don’t like to splurge on myself. (That sounded wrong, eh?)

Because in order to spend money on myself, I need to be addicted to the object that I am buying?

I would’ve walked through hot coals for a pack of Pall Mall Lights. Wrestled a bear. Let a hornet sting me. Shave my head like Sinéad O’Conner.

I still can’t believe she cried real tears for this video. I mean, the song wasn’t that bad.


Vaping costs me around $20-$30 dollars a month. Being smoke-free is one of the best decisions of my adult life, right up there with leaving my ex and quitting pop a couple of years ago. (Don’t even start your shit, ES.)

I’m going with my daughter later today to the thrift store, so perhaps I’ll find a much cheaper purse that won’t cause me buyer’s remorse. If I say screw it and get the one that I really want up above, I’ll feel guilty.

Yeah, I know. I’m goofy, ain’t I?

Do you have an issue with spending money on things that you don’t really need?

Or is it the opposite?