I bought a used Dell notebook on Ebay for $55 last night from my smartphone, plus free shipping. It’s located less than 50 miles away from me here in Ohio, so I am just awaiting shipping confirmation. (My Ebay app keeps me updated, how nifty is that shit?)

I’m not a fan of Amazon for reasons.

Until it arrives, my husband has been gracious enough to let me use his laptop while he’s at work. He understands that I need to have the ability to write and an actual keyboard in front of me.

He used the word “livelihood.” I gave him a hug last night and thanked him.

He’s going to look at a car after work today and it seems somewhat promising. Fingers crossed. Most cars within our budget should just be fucking scrapped if you ask me.

Oh honey, it’s perfect!

Seller: This car is clean!

Us: If it’s so clean, can you explain the missing muffler and why it smells like a fucking elephant took a dump in the backseat?

It’s a whole different world when you’re not buying a vehicle from a dealership. We don’t get a free cup of coffee or a complimentary car wash, no sir. We get mystery odors and shady humans that suck whatever’s left of your humanity right out of you.

But every now and then, you’ll find a piece of corn among the turds and pop on it faster than Superman on his way to save whatshername….oh right, Lois Lane after she fell into Niagara Falls because she’s an idiot.

If you don’t give me back my glasses, I’m gonna toss your ass into the water myself, you damn ding-dong.

I think throwing my ancient laptop as hard as I could yesterday was therapeutic and I don’t apologize for doing it. It’s been a frustrating last couple of weeks, plus I was in a lot of pain and really hungry. This is a fucking messed up combination of unpleasant situations to find yourself in and can only end in chaos of some sort.

Luckily, I was all alone when I did it, so I didn’t scare the living daylights out of my dogs or my daughter. They had all went upstairs a few minutes before I went momentarily loco.

Old things break. It’s just the way it is. Replacing these things that break with used things that hopefully still have some life left in them before they also break is an exciting crap-shoot.

And that, my friends, is my final deep thought of the day.