You can give the people who you chat with on Facebook Messenger a nickname. I had no idea that this was even a thing until last week, when my daughter assigned one to me.

Birth Giver. Instead of just a simple “mom” or even “the mama.”

At least my mother’s day card had mommy on it.

So in the spirit of hilarity and creativeness, I decided to nickname her Child-o-my-Loins.

Bling! Child-o-my-Loins sent you a message.

“What’s for dinner?”

Birth Giver: Make a sandwich. 

Child-o-my-Loins: I’m tired of sandwiches. I want something that has dimension. 

Birth Giver: You want dimensional food?

Child-o-my-Loins: Yes! 

Birth Giver: I suppose we can have hot dogs. 

Child-o-my-Loins: Are they the beef kind?

Birth Giver: Nope, just the meat kind. Might have a little bit of beef in there, you never know.

Child-o-my-Loins: Ick!  😦

Birth Giver: If you’re hungry enough, you’ll eat it and be grateful, you little turd.

Child-o-my-Loins: I’ll just have another sandwich.  :/

I find it difficult to believe that my daughter will be 21 next January. I still picture her in my mind sometimes as a 14-year-old teenager. (Especially when she gets all whiny about what’s for dinner.)

No matter the age of your child/children, they will find a way to make you laugh and facepalm simultaneously.