Here’s another “classic” from my retro blog, originally published in October of 2015…


He used to cuddle and purr on her lap when he was a kitten. Such a sweetheart, her little Mittens. He always used the litter box and never jumped up on the counters. Midge never had a problem with him.

Not until she started feeding him that damn generic cat food. Money was tight and she needed to save up for a new mini-skirt. She had no idea that the cheap food she bought for him was accidentally radioactive.

It happened so quickly. One day, he was a regular sized cat, the next he was the size of a large dog. Every day that passed, he got bigger and bigger. Eventually, he couldn’t even fit in the house anymore. She had to put him outside.

He started eating the neighbors.

Then, he turned his yellow, hungry cat eyes on her.

She ran, but he was right behind her.

“Mittens, I love you! It’s mommy! I promise that I’ll get you the most expensive cat food that money can buy! Just please don’t eat me!!”

“MEOW!” Mittens bellowed, shaking the ground around them.

Oh shit, he was gaining on her. She could feel his hot, stinky kitty breath on the back of her neck.  

With a giant paw, he knocked her down. Midge’s scream of terror lingered in the air. Without missing a beat, he crunched her up with his strong teeth and then he swallowed her down whole with one gulp.

Mittens licked his lips slowly and then spat out her Go-Go boots.