So shiny but oh so dangerous.

Back before I knew that I had fibromyalgia, I was coming out of a McDonald’s with two old friends when I slipped on some black ice and landed smack dab on my bony ass.

My friends, a male and a female, just stood there looking down at me. Nice, eh?

A man who was going into the fast food restaurant to get his grub on was the one who offered me assistance. He put his hand out to me and I grabbed it. He then helped me to stand up and regain my footing again.

“You should sue this place,” he said. “You okay?”

I shrugged it off. “Sure, thank you.”

My friends and I got into my car and we drove off, full of hamburgers and french fries. I probably had a milkshake too but this was a long fucking time ago. But knowing myself the way that I do, I’m sure that I did.

The next day when I woke up, my ass was extremely sore. It felt like I had bruised it. When I took a look, (we all look at our butts, right?) my butt looked just fine to the naked eye. I do however recall that it hurt for an entire week or so, which seemed strange at the time.

It didn’t help that I had a pancake ass. Well, I still do. It’s even worse now, gravity will have its way, you know.


Someone get the syrup.

A normal 19-year-old would have just bounced right back up and perhaps have had a sore behind for a day or two at the most.

This is just my opinion, of course.

It’s like the well-known ad line for Maybelline make-up, maybe she was born with it.

Here’s a short list of more small signs:

My arms ached whenever I tried to braid my hair. 

I complained often of “growing pains.”

I would be exhausted after a long day of playing outside and then I’d sleep for 12 hours.

I often lacked motivation and energy, which came across to others as laziness. 

It didn’t really smack me hard on the head until after I had my daughter when I was 22. I had a traumatic childbirth and came awfully close to dying. My daughter was only 5 pounds at birth but she was otherwise a healthy baby, thank God.

Trauma is the key word here. Any kind of trauma, mentally, physically or both, can stir fibro symptoms into a thick stew of asshattery. Like I said, these are my opinions based on personal experience and buttloads of research.

Have you ever slipped on black ice? I sincerely hope not. It’s quite frightening.