I’ve already had a handful of people try to console me by informing me that now I am free to have sex with anyone I please, since I’m basically a single gal now.
Well hot damn. Line em’ up!!
If you know me at all, you’ll also know that isn’t how I roll. Perhaps back when I was young and thought that sex was a replacement for love I’d be excited, but I’ve grown away from that skewed idea.
Yes, I am lonely. Without being too blunt, I’ve had a mostly sexless marriage for quite a long time. It wasn’t for lack of trying once I started feeling better mentally. I even worked with him with my therapist’s assistance, which really frosts my flakes. It was a waste of my time and hers.
You get to a point where enough is enough. All of this nonsense that he’s brought into my life has done me enough harm.
I just can’t hang anymore.
But back to the aforementioned sexcapades that I am now technically allowed to have. There may be cobwebs down there. I must be pretty hot to trot by now, right?
Well, yes. But that’s why there’s porn.
Anyway, what I really miss the most isn’t the actual sex act, it’s the stuff that comes prior to it, like cuddling, touching, kissing…and if that goes well, who the hell knows.
It can’t just be anybody is what I’m saying. I’m not going to get all dollied up and go to the bar down the road in order to find a random dude to have sex with just for the sake of having sex.
“No Can Do.” – Hall and Oates
Obviously I have no idea if I’ll ever be intimate with another man again, especially since I have stipulations. Sadly, I dropped my crystal ball on my foot and it shattered everywhere, what a fucking mess.
But I hope that I eventually do and for now, that has to be good enough.