Knocked Over By A Feather




My daily battle with depression.

A Breakfast at Denny’s Sort of Vibe

I’ve been cigarette/smoke free for 6 months today and I’m down to 3mg of nicotine in my ejuice, which is the lowest that they sell before you try to go to 0mg.

When I went to see my doctor in early May, he was concerned about how low my blood pressure was.

“Low?” I asked him, clearly confused since my BP hasn’t been normal without drugs since after I had my daughter in 1997. I was told that I would have chronic HBP for the rest of my life.

“Yes, especially when you stand up, which could explain why you’ve been extra dizzy lately,” he answered. “I’m going to cut it in half. You may not even need meds at all, we’ll have to wait and see.”

“Is it because I quit smoking?”

“Yes.” Huge smile from the doc and I resisted the urge to give him a high-five, then pump my fist up and down, while screaming “woot.”

Isn’t this kid in college now?
Other positive health related things from quitting the tar sticks include:

I don’t wheeze anymore.

I rarely cough. If I do, it’s just a quick “clean up the lungs from 25 years of ick” sort of coughing.

I can smell and taste things like 1000 times better, which has both negative and positive consequences. (My house smells more like dog now and chocolate is like eating an orgasm.)

I don’t get as winded climbing stairs, so now I can just concentrate on how badly my legs fucking hurt instead. 

It’s easy to stay away from cigarettes, since neither my husband or daughter smoke. It’s more difficult when I am around my ma and a couple of my cousins, because they all still light up.

The smell is both nauseating and seductive, come on Mer, just one, it won’t hurt ya. Especially if I am having a couple of beers or something.

But I have no intention of starting up again. I enjoy trying new flavors of ejuice way too much, making giant clouds of vapor that I can blow anywhere and not piss anyone off.

My husband said that my newest flavor, butterscotch and caramel cake, smells like pancakes with syrup and butter. It does have a breakfast at Denny’s sort of vibe.

And then, of course you have the whole cost factor. If I am being honest with myself and you guys, I was spending close to $250 on smokes per month. I spend less than $30 per month to vape.

If I did the math on how much money I have pissed away on the things for the last 25 years, I think that I would…

They made a movie based on the song?! I know what I’m doing later instead of being productive.
I know what you’re thinking. What does this old country song have to do with me quitting smoking?

Not a damn thing.

Isn’t it great?


May 12th is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

Fibromyalgia is a disorder disease characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals. – The Mayo Clinic

Get it right, Mayo Clinic. It’s a disease now, not just a disorder. I guess you guys didn’t get the damn memo.

Instead of blathering on and on about it myself, I will just share a few of my favorite fibro memes.





Just like cream cheese on a bagel, I am spreading fibromyalgia awareness!

Speaking of bagels, doesn’t that sound good right about now?

Rapid Assessment

I ended up having to go to the hospital with my toe yesterday morning. The pain had kept me up most of the night, throbbing like a heartbeat. It was all swollen, turning purple and looked really disgusting. It wasn’t getting better at all, so I knew that I needed to get it taken care of.

(Get your head out of the gutter.)

My husband started his Christmas vacation yesterday but he was willing to go with me. ( I would have been pretty steamed if he hadn’t.)

The staff at our particular hospital are always wonderful. They put me through what they call Rapid Assessment, for non-life threatening health issues. We were in and out of there within 90 minutes.

Fuck yeah, it’s only herpes!

I got a 10-day course of antibiotics and surprisingly, 10 Tramadol tablets for the pain, even though I told them that I get hydrocodone from my doctor. I don’t mind Tramadol at all, they’re pretty much the same thing as hydrocodone (Vicodin.)

Total bonus. This son of a bitch really hurts, with the presence of pus being a great indication.

The doctor told me to leave it clean and dry. No more peroxide, because it can actually make it worse. I was shocked. For all of these fucking years, I have been living a lie.

Hydrogen peroxide doesn’t cure ouchies.

They also gave me a toe-less shoe to wear. I took this picture in the small exam room to send to my friend Alice. I was keeping her updated on my progress.

Trust me, you don’t want to see the toe.

We left, completely in awe that it didn’t take all day. We stopped at the drugstore to get my prescriptions filled, which took about a half hour. By the time that we got home, I was worn out. I was happy to lay on the couch with my new heating blanket, remembering to keep my toe elevated.

I love that feeling you get when you do something totally adult, like taking care of unpleasant business, without too much fear or anxiety.

I’ll be headed to Mecca later to finish Christmas shopping. The plan is to have a couple of glasses of wine, wrap gifts and watch TV with my husband.

Then back to cuddle on the couch with my pup, Maya.

We’re both digging the heating blanket.

Are you done with your Christmas shopping?

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