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Knocked Over By A Feather

IT WAS A BIG FUCKING FEATHER…

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humor

The Sunshine Blogger Award

I was nominated by Jenn from Reclaiming My Sanity for the Sunshine Blogger Award. If you haven’t done so already, check out her blog. She’s a real sweetheart.


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Thank you kindly, Jenn.

When someone nominates me for an award, I always forget. Always.

Except this time, damn it! I fucking remembered and for that reason, I’m gonna make myself some blueberry muffins later.

Maybe, we’ll see if I forget.

The rules of the Sunshine Blogger Award are:

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and link to them.
  2. Answer the eleven questions asked.
  3. Nominate 11 other bloggers.
  4. Create 11 new and different questions for them to answer.
  5. List the rules.
  6. Include the “Sunshine Blogger Award” logo in your post somewhere.

Here are the questions from Jenn:

What blog post are you most proud of? I’ve written so many posts that it’s really difficult to choose a favorite. Hmm, let’s see…I think one of my favorites was “Totally Tubular.” I got stuck in the tubes at Chuck E. Cheese at my daughter’s 4th birthday party, which was a long time ago. She’ll be 21 in January, almost the same age that I was when she arrived on the scene.

Who is your favorite blogger? I have way too many blogs that I read to choose only one favorite, so I’ll just leave this question a mystery.

If you had the choice to pick a magical power what would it be? I’ve always wished that I could fly. I’ve had many dreams of swooping down and touching the tree tops at night, scaring the shit out of the owls. I also wouldn’t mind being invisible so that I could go to my ex’s house (wherever that is) and fuck around with his head. Maybe even pull a chair out from under him. Asshat. (Not my husband, my kids real father. Biological. Shit, I was trying not to use the fancier word.)

What is your guilty pleasure? Watching Lady Gaga music videos on Youtube.

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She wants your leather studded kiss in the sand.

What is your favorite holiday? Christmas! I like the lights, the food, the general merriment of the season. I also get to listen to Christmas music for like 2 months beforehand. Also, since I shop for gifts online now, I don’t have to run people over at Walmart while I’m using the zippycart.

If you knew you were going to be stranded on a deserted island, which 3 items would you take with? Is there an internet connection on this island? Probably not. I’d take a fancy dinner dress like Ginger from Gilligan’s Island, my best pair of fuzzy socks and a case of Bic lighters, because rubbing two sticks together would not produce fire, it would just piss me off.

What is your favorite recipe? I can make a killer lasagna.

How many times a day do you check your email? Maybe 3 or 4 times. Nothing usually there but spam and shit like that, but you never know when you’ll find an email from a real person.

What is your #1 tip for new bloggers? Be patient, be yourself and stay away from the stats page. Numbers aren’t what’s important. Seriously, don’t even pay attention to it.

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What are your hobbies (other than writing)? I like to color, read, nap, play with my dogs, nap, chat online with my friends, watch TV, nap…okay, I’m starting to see a pattern here.

What is your greatest fear? I have many fears, but hands down, my greatest fear is being alone in this world. I’ve had so many failed friendships, I sometimes wonder if I’m just an easily forgettable person.


Now my questions for the nominees: 

1. If you could meet one deceased famous person, who would it be?

2. Do you have any tattoos and if so, are any of them offensive?

3. Do you believe that fat bottomed girls make the rocking world go round?

4. What’s your favorite Beatles song? (Please add a 250 word essay explaining your reasons.)

5. What was your first Halloween costume?

6. Have you ever picked anything up using your feet and toes because you didn’t feel like bending over?

7. Have you accidentally farted while on a first date?

8. Did you know that the bird is the word? (Everybody know that the bird is the word.)

9. Do you always wash your hands after you use the lavatory?

10. Do you agree that people are strange, especially when you’re a stranger?

11. Do you tidy up the table before you leave a restaurant or do you give no fucks?


The 11 bloggers that I nominate are:

Anyone who wants to accept this award!! You all bring sunshine into my life. *sniff*

(Yep, I tweak the rules because I can, bwahaha.)

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It’s My 5 Year Blog Anniversary

Here I was thinking that tomorrow was my blog anniversary, when I received this notification from WordPress a short while ago.

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Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com!
You registered on WordPress.com 5 years ago.
Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.
I had a party planned and everything, with streamers, confetti and pony rides. I even ordered a cake. But it’s too late now. The party is cancelled, sorry you guys.
I didn’t even get a chance to be a pretentious asshole.
Seriously though, I’m amazed at myself for sticking with something for so long. I don’t usually do that. All I know for sure is that the day I started this blog, I opened up my world in ways that I never dreamed possible.
To all of my original blog family that are still here with me, thank you.
To all of my newer blog family here with me now, thank you.
I love you all dearly.
My only advice to anyone who has just recently started blogging is to be patient, be yourself and stay away from the stats page. Numbers aren’t what’s important.
Your tribe will find you.

Mer the Hermit

My husband and I share a car, a 2004 Chevy Impala. We purchased it back in May with the money that I had saved up since quitting smoking back in January.

We had thought at the time that it was in impeccable shape for the $900.00 that we paid for it. It started right up and felt “safe” to drive. It didn’t make any weird sounds or anything. All good signs. We’ve had nothing but shitty luck with automobiles for years now, so cool beans.

Well, we just had to cough up about $650 to get a few important things fixed on the Impala, like the brake lines (done by a real mechanic) and the entire back brakes, with pads, rotors and calipers, done by my husband’s friend who also happens to be my weed guy.

My daughter was gone from 11am until almost 2am this morning. Her “so you don’t drive your mother insane” curfew is 1am, but I gave her an extra extension because she was going down to Akron with her new friendboy. (Not official yet, more on this topic later.)

So yeah, I was alone all day yesterday, which shouldn’t have really bothered me so much, only it really did. I spent much of my time fighting back a panic attack, because the same thought kept running through my head.

“You’re all alone, trapped inside these four walls. Trapped! Hermit Lady! You suck.”

I dug deep into my bag of DBT tricks, classics like distraction, opposite action, being mindful…and one that I made up myself…telling my brain to go fuck itself.

Kindly go fuck yourself, stupid hypervigilant brain.

My gigantic 75 pound American Bulldog named Maya helps me feel less alone. She’s the best nap partner, which we take most days, even if just for a short horizontal life pause.


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Snuggle in, it’s nap time!


I’ve had many dogs in my life over the years, but she’s special.

Yeah, I know, everybody says that about their pets, like, I have the most special hamster, he does the Chicken Dance for a piece of corn.

Seriously, she loves to cuddle. She’s into the spooning thing and what kind of dog lover would I be to disappoint her?

Bring it in, girl.

We watched Family Guy Season 13 on Netflix. She cuddled on the couch with me.


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Mommy loves you, Maya.


What? It’s cute.

So the brake job yesterday took my husband and his buddy almost 12 hours in total. He only charged us $50, otherwise there was no way that we would have put more than what we had paid for it um… back into it?

It reads funny to me, but I’m just going to leave it alone.

I suppose we would have had to start using Uber. I don’t know, I’m fucking old. Bring me a prune, get off my lawn. 

Whatever.

You’d be surprised how often I have a streak of a week (or more) of not leaving my house. On Saturday mornings I see my therapist. I force myself to go even if I feel like cancelling, but she’s been taking frequent vacations lately. So, I missed her again yesterday, now two weeks in a row, which sucked.

It’s really so much more than just a therapist appointment, it’s like a snippet of freedom once a week. And if I’m feeling froggy, I’ll even stop at the big store or the little store, dependent upon many variables that I am too lazy to list.

My only IRL friend that I have left is Cheryl, but she also has fibro, so lately our weekly lunch/movie outing has been becoming more sporadic.

I might be having a great day, but then she might feel like chipped shit on toast. Or then, she’s feeling decent-ish and I want to go bury my head in my pillow all day long. Or usually, we both feel just bloody awful on the same day, because fibro is of the devil.

Yep. You’re not seeing things. I have one friend that I can actually hang out with. They’ve either all moved away or stopped asking me to do stuff. People forget about you sometimes and that sucks, but it’s just the circle of life.


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Me either, Pooh.


I had my own car for an extremely short time back in 2014 and I rarely drove it. If I was careful with finances for a few months, I could buy my own piece of shit car, but would the cost, upkeep and insurance be worth it if I barely drove the damn thing?

Now that I can drive our car and stop its momentum, I had planned on getting out of here for a bit today, but guess what?

I don’t feel up to it, plus there’s a cold front coming in again.

Well, shit.

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